Sex is an array of activities, it isn’t just penetrative sex, either vaginal or anal. It’s a total combination of it all. The flirting, touching, heavy touching, kissing, foreplay, main sex, and afterplay, and most importantly, not necessarily in that order.
As men, to put it better, as affectionate men, it isn’t just about you, taking the feelings of your lady into consideration is a requirement. You have to make sure that you woo her body, get emotions out, increases her heart beat with your love plays.
For men, who have not been able to unlock the next level of excitement in their lover like a video game.
There is yet again hope for these individuals because according to new discovery from a recently concluded study, it is looking like if you use more of your hands during sex, as in becoming more ‘handy’, and doing some afterplay meaning cuddling after sex, these things can make the sex feel better for the lady, help her reach orgasm easier, reports Zeynep Yenisey, Maxim.
This discovery was made at the center for Sexual Health Promotion, Indiana University. They surveyed about 1,055 women who were aged between 18 and 94, they were asked about their sex lives, so as to be able to understand how they enjoy sex.
She narrated, "Our purpose was to understand more about women's experiences with ... the kinds of touch they find pleasurable and how clitoral and vaginal stimulation contribute to their orgasms,"
From previous studies, it has been revealed that a large chunk of women do not achieve orgasm from just sex alone, they need something more to get them across the line. To put that into better perspective, from the study, only around 18 per cent said they were able to achieve orgasm from penetrative sex, where 36 per cent said they need more than just penetration such as having their clitoris stimulated.
36 per cent more also said they needed to use their hands to visibly enhance the sexual experience to make it result in orgasm.
Clearly, it is revealed here, that guys have to ramp up their game in the bedroom, it isn’t just about the tool, it’s also about other things surrounding it. We have to be more sensual as lovers. Apparently, there is a false belief that all the man has to do is stick his penis into the lady’s vagina, and orgasm will come flowing down. Men need to learn how to use their hands.
The author of “Becoming Cliterate”, and therapist, Laurie Mintz, had this to say, "The main reasons they give for faking is that they want to appear 'normal' and want to make their male partners feel good.”
Sexuality Counselor and educator, Anita Hoffer also chimes in “This is one of the saddest and most common problems I deal with in my clinical practice," a sexuality counselor and educator.
"Women who either are uninformed or insecure and therefore easily intimidated by ignorant partners bear a great deal of shame and guilt at being unable to climax from intercourse alone.” This study also threw up interesting findings, such as there are different types of orgasm.
For instance, some orgasms are just there, while some of truly life changing, it wrecks your body like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Some have been recorded that it made the lady go blind for a very short while. Here is the kicker, it has nothing to do with the length or girth of the dick, it is more of a result of incredible foreplay, and orgasm inducing clitoral stimulation.
Here is the note you’re waiting for, your long dick might not give her blinding orgasm.
Something else that should be used as well is “outercourse”. Like the name sounds, it’s the opposite of intercourse, it has to do with everything asides from the sex, which can vary from kissing to touching and diverse other things which can also include sex toys.
"When we equate intercourse and sex and call everything that comes before intercourse 'foreplay,' we are buying into the cultural script that sex should proceed as follows: foreplay (just enough to get her ready for intercourse), intercourse (during which both women and men orgasm), and game over," Mintz says.
Men are known to take off from afterplay, the cuddling after sex, where they’d rather be comfortable with the mini-coma they’ll slip into after the act is done, which can leave the woman wanting for more. According to a study done by Trojan condoms, and the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada, couples should still be hugging and cuddling with your partner.
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That act of cuddling can boost sexual satisfaction in a woman by as much as 30 percent.