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You Know I'm Just Joking by Ayomide Tayo My conversation with an MMM disciple

This is a fictional conversation with a delusional MMM believer who thinks the Ponzi scheme is still on track.

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With the MMM brouhaha going on right now, a friend of mine named Uche came visiting. After gisting and catching up on things, the discussion turned to MMM.

Chinedu is an ardent believer of MMM. He also invested majority of his savings in the scheme. The conversation below is a transcript of what was said (or not said).

Sergey Mavrodi's letter to journalists play

Sergey Mavrodi's letter to journalists

(Bella Naija )


Me- Yaay, MMM has crashed o. Christmas is about to be bitter for some people.

Chinedu- Guy MMM hasn't crashed. It has frozen.

Me- Frozen? Na Christmas chicken?

Chinedu- You media guys have come again with your lies. It has been frozen for this month only so that the system won't collapse. By January it will be back.

Me- I know but I hope you understand that it is a poorly constructed house that can collapse at any time. This MMM is like one of those houses that shake when you slam one of the doors in it.

Chinedu- (Hisses) It's like you don't know times are hard for everybody.

Me- Of course we are in a recession and men must survive but I can't put my money in a Ponzi scheme to enrich a greedy Russian.

Chinedu- Sergei Mavrodi is not a greedy Russian he is a friend of the common man persecuted by greedy governments!

Me- Ose, the white Nelson Mandela, the hero of the common man.

Chinedu- I won't say anything till January.

Me- But come o, if this MMM is the real deal how come it has crashed in South Africa and Zimbabwe?

Chinedu- Look those were governmental conspiracies. We Africans don't have sense. A white man came here to give us something good but these our black politicians with their black brains spoilt it. The governments in Zimbabwe and South Africa killed MMM. In Nigeria, Buhari and his boys want to kill it but God pass them.

Me- Hmmm...angle, deep angle. What about in Russia?

Chinedu- Russia is a communist country, think for Christ's sake. They don't want people to share the wealth.

Me- Hmm but they crashed in these countries sha and many people lost their money.

Chinedu- That's normal. There is no business without risk.

Me- So you admit that MMM is a risk and it would crash?

Chinedu- Ohhhhhhh God! Why are you like this? I said it will come back in January ah!

Me- I know but you also said every business has a risk which means you know MMM will crash soon.

Chinedu- Please do not twist my words. You know what I'm saying.

Me- I really don't at all but it is your business and your money which has been frozen.

Chinedu- This is the end of this conversation. I am out.

(Chinedu leaves the room angrily, slamming the door. Five minutes later the door opens slowly with a creaking sound. Chinedu peeks into the room looking solemn).

Chinedu- Abeg you fit give me small t-fare. My account low and my other money dey inside MMM till January...

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