Though my husband, Harry has been supportive in the face of the mockery, insults, and disgrace I have faced in the hands of his family, especially his mother and sisters, I cannot find happiness whatsoever.
If my childlessness was the only problem bothering me, I would have continued to pray to God for a way out but my biggest concern now is the nightmares I have been living with for over three years now.
At this point, I have to confess that I had lived a reckless life when I was single. When I was in the university, some of my friends who were into what is popularly called 'Aristo', had introduced me into the life and we thought we were having fun then.
Little did I know that I was setting up myself for a lifetime of sorrow with the way I lived. Those days, no party was complete without us as we were the hottest girls in the school.
We were on hand to service any dignitary or top politician that came into town and we were rewarded handsomely. It was through the runs that I was able to travel around the world, open a boutique while still in school, built a house for my parents, set up businesses for them and also sent my younger ones to school.
But during my reckless years, I had had four abortions as I was not ready to be a mother then. How I wish I had kept at least two of the babies because now, their ghosts have been tormenting me day and night for the past three years.
Anytime I close my eyes, I will see four little babies running after me, calling me mummy and asking me why I aborted them.
I would wake up screaming and my husband would calm me down, telling me I have allowed my childlessness to affect me so much that I keep dreaming about it. If only he knows.
But in the last five months, they have added another dimension to it as they even appear to me in the daytime. The first time it happened, I was at a shopping mall when I saw a woman with four little kids walking towards me.
All of a sudden, my vision blurred and I saw the woman disappear and the children started running after me, calling me mummy.
I did not know when I fainted and was revived in a hospital. When I asked the people who took me to the hospital, I was told I had screamed and fainted.
I have become so depressed that at times I feel like committing suicide and ending it all. I get tempted to confess to Harry but I know he will not only be disappointed with me but could even kick me out of his house.
I have gone for deliverance in many churches but nothing seems to work for me. I seriously need help before I do something crazy.
Dear readers, this is another pathetic story, you will agree. After going through what Lovelyn has been going through on Morning Teaser today, what do you think she should do?