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Pulse Nigeria Poll Readers advise Debola to see a counselor

45% of Pulse Nigeria Poll voters say Debola and Tessy should see a marriage counselor to help them solve their marital problems.

  • Published:
This worried man needs advice (Illustration) play

This worried man needs advice (Illustration)

(Getty Images)

Debola has been married for six years to Tessy with two kids but he is not enjoying the marriage as his wife has turned him into a punching bag.

He is not weak but feels it is not right for a man to beat his wife though she sees his position as being a weakling and takes advantage of that to maltreat him and look down on him.

Read his pathetic story here:

"My name is Debola, a 38-year-old banker, working and living in Lagos. I have been married for six years now with two children but I can tell you that I have been living in hell in my home.

I know that marriage is to be enjoyed not endured but my marriage to Tessy has been that of endurance, longsuffering, torture, and tears.

My wife is so overbearing, quick-tempered and very troublesome that I dread going home when I close from work. She has been in the habit of beating me and threatening my life.

She hits me with any weapon she lays her hands on and has broken a bottle on my head, stabbed me with a knife, poured hot water on me and even hit me with a pestle on the head.

When we were dating, Tessy was the best woman any man could ever have and was as meek and gentle as a dove. She dared not talk back to me and was always ready to apologize whenever she did anything wrong.

Little did I know that she was doing all that to make me marry her because immediately we got married, Tessy changed and began being assertive. The first thing I noticed about her was her domineering attitude and the fact that she loved to have her way.

Whenever we were discussing or trying to take decisions concerning the home, she would always insist things should be done in her own way and would go at it till I accepted her view.

Gradually, she began to take me for granted and started acting as the head of the home, giving me orders and dictating how I should live and spend each day.

She began vetting my friends and relatives whom I should relate with, who should visit us, when I should go out, when I should come home and I must always tell her of my movements.

Then came the day she slapped me for the first time. We had a normal family discussion and in her usual way, she wanted things to be done her way but when I insisted, Tessy slapped me.

I was stunned and just walked out of the house but when I returned, she continued from where she stopped and fought me all night.

And since then, it has been the same almost every day. Whenever I report her to friends, they will either tell me I am not man enough to handle my home or that I should take what I am facing as a man.

No one wants to see it as a case of domestic violence. One thing I dread so much is having a broken home because I am a product of one myself and I know the effect it had on me while growing up.

I am not weak and I am sure the day I decide to beat her, I may kill her because of the anger that has been building up in me.

I want to settle this without resorting to violence but with the way things are going, she is not leaving me with too many options.

Debola."

The teaser for the day was:

What do you think Debola should do in this situation?

How Nigeria voted:

He should divorce Tessy so she would not kill him - 20%

He should act like a man and handle her in a mature way - 23%

He should show her who is the head of the family and beat her - 12%

He and Tessy should visit a counselor - 45%

How would your vote swing here?

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