'Diary of a hustling OAP' - Spycy Star [Episode 7]

I walked into the venue for the audition and it seemed I arrived relatively on time because there were not many people present. You remember the text message I got on my phone just the other day while at Moshood’s studio, well, that’s the audition I am here for now.

I took a seat, smiled and said ‘hello’ to the people around me. And shortly, more people strolled in and before you could say ‘Jack Bauer’, the place was filled with media personalities and aspirants as well. There were radio presenters, voice-over artistes, a few TV presenters.

Gosh! One could easily get overwhelmed by the faces that were there to be auditioned. I mean hello!!! If these people have come for this gig, how much chance do I stand? Me, a new player? Me, who had just relocated from Port-Harcourt? Me, who’s still out of a job? Me, who knew practically nobody?

These were the questions raging in my mind. Now, it’s only natural to feel this way but was I gonna let this get to me? *shakes head* I don’t think so! Each corner had a couple and some engrossed in chats, hence the buzz in the room. I mean you can’t keep people, whose means of livelihood is to talk, in a room and expect to have a quiet room… it’s just not done.

Someone would come in every now and then and ask us to keep it down and the noise goes down, but only to come back up in a matter of minutes. Anyways, while we were there waiting for the auditions to start off, Yinka Davies walks in and before she could escape into the inner area, a couple of people caught up with her and she had to holler and say hello to some of them and we got to know that she was one of the judges.

The audition is for a TV show, so while the cameras fixed in different locations in the auditioning space would be catching your every move, these judges would be sitting in front of you and asking you questions.

Anyways, I was being attentive now to a particular guy in our own corner of the room. This guy just won’t stop talking. He had something to say about every media person and their mama. He looks kinda young but he’s got a hair full of greys. I was gonna ask him if he had sprayed his hair or if they were natural but I felt he may get uncomfortable and could stop talking; but I don’t want him to stop. Because, seriously, the guy was getting me informed on some stuff that goes on in the industry.

I just moved to Lagos, so I try to get the info anywhere and anyhow I can and at that moment, I was learning a lot from this brother. Chat on grey-haired bruva!!!*rotfl* (You should know though, that this same brother later became a friend of mine and currently a very close friend of mine *winks*). He talked about how some voice-over artistes were devaluing the art of voicing by doing it for ridiculously cheap prices and how this affected the community of voice-over artistes, as a whole.

He refrained from naming names though. He just couldn’t help dishing and talking and making every one laugh, too and while this was going on, the auditions commenced and one after the other, people were called in and before long, they were out. The organisers were making it quick. Good. We had waited for quite a while.

It was only a matter of time and then it got to my turn. I heard my name and I as I stood up, my clan encouraged me: ‘Go break a leg!!!’ I smiled and cat-walked in. Of course, I was on my stiletto heels. Honey, you don’t leave these things to chance! I mean, you will be judged in front of a camera, you better be on your high heels to give you the edge that you need to project properly and deliver mind-blowingly. And you know what they say… you only get one chance to give a first impression.

Anyways, as I walked in, I noticed they were three sitting at that table; two guys and a lady (the multi-talented Yinka Davies). I was asked to drop my bag by the side and stand behind a taped line. These, I did and then, introduced myself before my audition proper. By the time I was done with my delivery, I could see the approving smiles on their faces and one of them couldn’t help it and had to ask if I’ve done TV before.

I replied; ‘No. Just radio’ and they shared quick glances at one another, unable to hide their surprise.

‘Write your details on the back of your picture and drop it with the lady at the door and we will get back to you’ the other guy said and Yinka, still smiling, finished; ‘Thank you for coming and do have a wonderful day’ and I replied: ‘Thank you all for your time,’ smiling too and making my exit from the room.

I opened the door and went to the lady at the table where I was supposed to drop a copy of my picture. I took out a copy from my bag and wrote my details on the back and left it with her as I smiled, thanked her and left to the outer room where the others were still waiting to be called in.

I was asked how it went and with a huge smile on my face, I replied; ‘Lovely’. I went to my own clan and exchanged a few numbers, wished them the very best in there and bade them farewell.