Who jazz my presido?

Sometime ago, soldiers who were sent to Gbaramatu Kingdom seized a sword reportedly belonging to the one ex-Niger Delta warlord (I no mention name oh).

According to sources who know the Ijaw nation well, the sword is a symbol of authority used by the custodian of the Egbesu shrine .

In other words, the ex-militant warlord, who is said to be the chief custodian of the shrine is the Chief priest of the kingdom or the senior babalawo.

Una know say the guy first beg government say make them return the sword so him go fit perform him duties and worship Egbesu, abi?

Knowing Ijaw winsh well, they do not leave you untii their mission is accomplished and you pay the price for daring them.

Ask me how I take know. Check out Ijaw gehs. If any Ijaw geh cash you, she will never let you go until she drain your blood or finish your gin (ogogoro) and empty your bowl of fish pepper soup.

They don't need your money, and it is advisable in this period wey eye dey red, to consider the Ijaw alternative.

Anyway, back to the matter. President Buhari has written to the Senate to ask for an extension of his already extended vacation.

According to reports, his aides revealed that tests have shown that the President needs to stay back in London until he recovers.

Really? Who was it that was singing the fit as a fiddle tune, while the other was chorusing from the script that there is no cause for alarm.

My brother open your eye and see the alarm by your side. There is nothing wrong in accepting that our Presido is ill and is responding to treatment.

Anyway, Buhari has ordered the Soldiers who seized Tompolo's golden sword of horror, sorry, honour to return it with immediate effect, make we know where the thing wey dey do am come from.

ALSO READ:Buhari orders Army to return Tompolo’s golden sword

Bros ex-militant, abeg as baba don return the sword just sorry for am. I no talk say na you swear for am oh! Just use the sword pray for am.

Like I always say, I do not know Sambo Dasuki, neither have I met the underground billionaire, Andrew Yakubu.

There is no statement here about Southern Kaduna, so El-the-referee will not order for me like Chocolate City bars.

Aunty Diezani who I prayed and fasted so hard to adopt me has still not responded. Weh! I still believe in miracles.

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My prayer for Mr. President is that he gets well soon.

No weapon, whether na sword oh or na apple oh, fashioned against President Buhari shall prosper. We need to jail many corrupt politicians.

ALSO READ:Femi Adesina doesn’t know when President Buhari will return

Even Femi Adesina does not know when our dear President will return. How will he know, when he only speaks to those around the President and not to the President himself? Eh!

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If this piece upsets you, please kindly send me an email and I will make amends with a bowl of imported Indian garri and freshly pressed cow milk.