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Pulse Nigeria Poll Readers say they will walk away from a long relationship with no future

A whopping 58% of Pulse Nigeria Poll voters say they will walk away from a long relationship that has no future.

  • Published:
A sad and depressed woman play

A sad and depressed woman

(Getty Images)

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Victoria is no longer getting younger at 32, and after dating Oscar for 12 years and with no hopes of settling down, she wants to move on with her life but feels she cannot love any other man since Oscar was her first love.

Read her letter here:

"My name is Victoria, a 32-year-old working class lady. I have a problem that has been eating deep into me and I want your readers to help me with advice on the way forward for me. I won't mind if you castigate me but please, I do not want any abuses because what has happened to me is not just peculiar to me alone.

I have been dating Oscar for the past 12 years but in all those years, he has not proposed marriage to me and anytime I attempt to leave him owing to this, he would break down, cry, beg, send people to me, promise to do the right thing but at the end of the day, we will go back to square one.

I met Oscar when I was 20-years-old and in my third year in the university. He was about eight years older than me, which makes him 40-years-old today. He had graduated two years earlier and was working with a construction firm.

I loved Oscar so much that I went back on my promise of keeping my virginity for my husband. Since he had assured me that we would get married in the future, I saw nothing wrong in giving myself to him.

In our years together, I have had to abort about four times for Oscar because he keeps saying he is not ready for marriage.

Not that he does not have what it takes to get married but he keeps giving excuses, ranging from the funny to the absurd, like wanting to buy a car before settling down and when he bought a car, he said he needed to see his siblings through school and when his two younger ones graduated, he said he wanted to build his own apartment so that his family would not have to contend with landlords.

With my financial assistance, the house was completed three years ago but Oscar has not deemed it fit for us to get married. I have had men who want to marry me but I love Oscar so much and cannot see myself getting married to another man.

But the last straw that is threatening to break my back is that I just got to realise that Oscar has fathered two kids from different women in his hometown and when I confronted him on this, he said they were mistakes he made. But we were living together all the while, so I do not know what he means by mistake.

While he made sure I aborted my own pregnancies, he allowed the other women to have his children. I want to leave him but after spending so much time with one man, I don't know where to start from.

Can someone out there help me out?


The teaser for the day was:

What would you do after spending 12 years with a man and he has not proposed to you?

How Nigeria voted:

I will leave him after two years if he does not propose - 27%

I will stay with him hoping for the best - 6%

I will move on with my life - 58%

I will propose to him if he refuses to - 11%

How would you vote here?

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