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Pulse Nigeria Poll Readers say it best to leave vengeance to God

69% of Pulse Nigeria Poll readers say they will leave a family who refuses to allow their son marry an older woman after she spent money on them, to God.

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A really worried woman play

A really worried woman

(Getty Images)

After spending her hard earned money on her boyfriend and his family, with the believe that they were going to get married, Bode's family now sees Paula as being too old for their son and have gone ahead to get a young lady for him from their village.

She is devastated and sent in this letter to seek for advice from other readers:

"My name is Paula and I am a 38-year-old woman who has seen the good, the bad and ugly side of life, especially when it comes to relationships with men.

In my life, I must say I have not been lucky with men as they always use and dump me. I want to believe, like my friends used to tell me, that I love emotionally and invest everything I have in my relationships.

I grew up in an environment where we were taught to be generous, kind and share whatever we had with others. I imbibed this admonition and when I started having boyfriends, I tried to share everything with my men, not knowing that these would be my undoing.

Men have dealt with me in every imaginable way, with some stealing my money and running away. One man I loved with all my heart and had even had our introductions, collected over N5 million for a business venture, only to surprise me when I saw photos of his wedding to another woman in a magazine.

I always left everything to God, believing that He has a better plan for me.

Then I met Bode five years ago. When I met him, he was just a struggling young man but he showed me so much love (I now believe he was pretending all along).

I was taken in by his devotion that I did everything to make sure he was comfortable. At his age (he was 30 when we met), he was still living with his parents in a room and palour apartment.

I got a three bedroom flat for them, furnished it to taste, gave his mother money to start up a business, paid school fees for his siblings and set him up in a business.

I did all these because he had vowed to marry me and even brought his parents to meet mine and we had our introduction. While everyone was happy for me, my father was sceptical and told me to be very careful, but I assured him that Bode is quite different from the rest.

The first sign of trouble was when, after almost five years, he never mentioned anything about solemnizing our union, even though we were living together in my house.

One day, I broached the topic and told him I would like to get pregnant so that it would speed up things. But his reaction should have warned me.

He told me he was not in a hurry and that we should not think of a baby yet. When I prodded further, he told me his parents are not very comfortable with him getting married to me, seeing that I am not that young.

I was hurt and angry at him but I hid my disappointment. But it finally hit me when his youngest sister who was very close to me, came to me to tell me that their parents had concluded plans for Bode to get married to a much younger girl from their home town.

I was shocked but I hid it very well till he came back home and when I confronted him, he sheepishly said that there was nothing he could do as his parents had already taken the decision and he was just waiting for the right time to break the news to me.

At the moment, I am terribly broken. Some of my friends have told me to make sure he suffers for this betrayal while others say I should leave vengeance to God. But what should I do?


The teaser for the day was:

What would you do if your fiance's parents say you are too old after taking care of them?

How Nigeria voted:

12% - I will make sure they suffer for it

69% - I will leave them to God

19% - I will make sure they pay back all they took from me

How would you vote?

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