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Wande’s Little Child, 2face Political Attack, Monalisa Chinda Gets It Wrong Again

From a week brimming with headlines, scandals, and the odd shit-smudging, Pulse.ng’s Joey Akan walks through them all, shedding extra light, analysis, and maybe, discovering the solution to world peace.

Once again, Monalisa Chinda, that fair-skinned Nollywood actress can’t seem to get it right. Having had such a long history of trouble, near-misses, and relationship fiascos, few would expect her jinx to translate into her business.

Monalisa is in the magazine business for now, and she has found a way to muddle it up.  Her first editor had left her acrimoniously, citing shameful reasons, now the second one, who many would have harbored a feeling that she’ll treat with more fancy-schmancy gloves, have upped, turned up her professional nose, and walked away. And to think this is her second editor in 2 editions, simply sets a disturbing trend. With each edition, an editor walks. So who’s next to pass through the revolving doors of Monalisa Magazine…me, perhaps. This one will never get it right…she’s jinxed.

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How many times have the indiscretion of our leaders brought us untold shame and scorn from not only within Africa, but on the wider global scale. We Nigerians are ridiculed all over, our youths are bent on criminality to earn their keep, the country’s ginormous resources are squandered, and somehow the leaders tend to publicly disgrace themselves.

2face Idibia was right to call them out. Lying deep within him, his heart bleeds. He is not alone on that. The hearts of all Nigerians bleed for the nation, and to see the bad leadership that walk the echelons of power these days only tends to increase the bad blood flow. 2face was right to call them out. When people of influence, who live in well-earned affluence, speak out for the proletariat, then you know the rot in the system is beyond remedy. Evil can only continue, not because the bad men perpetrate it, but because the good men were silent.

In the distant future, when account shall be given, we’ll do well to note that 2face, this good man, took a stand. A good stand, indeed.

It beats me why this should major news. The restless pants of our male celebrities is a major tourist attraction of our entertainment world. They all seem to be in a child race. Like some passing rite into adulthood, getting a lady knocked up has become a fad. They all want kids.

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That WandeCoal had his boy before his first album is something of concern though. Back then, he was not a celebrated singer. He was the hustling and hopeful black vocalist from a slum (Mushin), whose talent was still formative. To think he still had enough in him to get a lady knocked up is a bit of a surprise. He had caught the babypapa-bug at a time when only 2face Idibia was consistent in that department. Now he’s got money, his talent and favors have made him relatively successful.

Here’s to hoping his kid gets the best of his elite world.

What are they smoking over there at the Shrine? Cheap weed?  Or some darker brain-damaging substitute? How does Seun like his weed?  With a bit off madness, I guess. I fear he loves it deeply, deeper than he loves his art.

Seun is always angry. That is well noted fact of life; The sun will rise up tomorrow, mankind will die, there’ll be oxygen to breathe, and Seun will always be angry.

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Relax man, life’s not that hard. This time it’s your fathers experts and analysts, who look deeply into the life a great man with scrutiny, find his strengths and flaws, and create timeless works to edify the unborn generation, that has drawn your anger.

For all the goodness of Fela’s talents, his substance abuse, his philandering ways, and consequent end by HIV/AIDS will always be dirt on an exceptional life. He is a hero, albeit one with a bad lifestyle, and an avoidable worse end.

So relax Seun, you should be on our side. We’re simply celebrating Fela…and you’re smoking his weed and shagging your dancers. The similarities between you and your father are impressive…and alarming.

D’banj is a farmer now. He wears a rolex, drinks the best of vintage wine, and dines with ornamental cutlery, while sunbathing in the elegance of stardom, and now, he is a farmer, a real farmer who would have to be involved with cocoa, and dirt.

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It’s the global year of Agriculture, and what better way to reinforce the message of growing clean food, than for a man with genuine influence and followership to lead the cause, chanting songs about mother earth, galvanizing farmers, while still smiling for the paparazzi. D’banj is to invest in Ghana’s cocoa, making him officially a farmer.

I reckon he’ll succeed. It’s hard to fail in business, especially when your products are lifesavers.

Atta boy, D’banj.

The last time, we had the super-curvy Kim Kardashian stop over, collect big bucks, smiled pretty for some pictures, mumbled some words of ‘emotional and diplomatic support’, and jetted off back to the moon, or wherever she lived then.

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We don’t want that  again!

Darey knows too. His yearly ‘Love Like a Movie’ concert which will be held on Valentines day, has a new beauty – Kelly Rowland. The US singer have been given a hosting brief, and will be required to make the show tick all over. Ain’t that sweet.

But Darey, how much will she be paid? Nigeria’s GDP? Talk Darey, talk!

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