Another Thursday, another bunch of sexual problems but not to worry, I [Joan] am here to hear y'all out and find the best solutions to all your sex and bedroom troubles ( Let's begin!

Hello Joan, I have a pressing problem which I have no clue as to what I can do to solve it. I am 32 years old and have been dating my fiancé for 3 years. In the last one year, he’s been distant. Not too much sex like before but too many excuses why we can’t have regular sex. The most shocking thing is, his neighbours are guessing that he seem to be having sex with animals like goats (he rears) every night. They say they always hear him ejaculating at his backyard at night while the goats cry for help. I am totally lost, shocked, angry and confused. What should I do?

Patience, Uyo

Dear Patience

First of all you really need to be sure about what your neighbours tell you concerning what’s going on. I can understand you are shocked, doubtful and would like to confront him immediately with the issue but this is really serious and sensitive for you to badge him with it just like that.

Take your time, take a deep breath and think hard. It’s just a report, there is no hard evidence yet. His reluctance to have regular sex with you like before could be due to other reasons like stress or tiredness; Or the fact that, he thinks you would understand he’s distant for whatever reason.

Having sexual intercourse with animals is something of the mind and maybe brain. Its absolutely not normal for humans to have sex with animals. But at this point, you are not so sure. You never saw him with your own eyes, neither did any of his neighbours. So I suggest you have a chat with him on the ‘distant’ matter and find out what his problem really is and then you both try to solve it together.

As for the sex-with-animals case, allow his neighbours to prove it with hard evidences like pictures or recording or something better than 'hear say'. I'm not asking you to forget about such a report but dont say a word until you've got solid prove!

My wife (aged 37) and me (aged 38) would like to experiment with anal toys. Is there anything we have to be careful about? Is there anything like "too much"? Could it have negative effects on the gut?

Chinedu, Bayelsa state

Dear Chinedu,

The principles that apply to the handling of toys are similar to the rules for anal sex:

The anal region and especially the intestinal wall are very sensitive and you should therefore proceed with caution. People who have colon or rectum problems (e.g hemorrhoids) are advised not to have anal sex.

Sharp objects as well as edged fingernails can easily lead to injuries in the anal region, so you should be very careful and use lots of lubes. The skin of the rectum is very permeable and takes up liquid very easily. So you should always apply lube.

Intestinal bacteria should not get into other orifices.

When it comes to anal toys, here is the most important thing; that the object that you want to insert either has a foot (like an extension at the end) or a line to pull it out again. Unlike the vagina, the anus has "no end" and objects are almost sucked in at some point. Once an object is behind the sphincter and you cannot get it out anymore, the only thing left for you to do is visit the emergency room immediately.

Any insertion in the anal region should happen slowly and carefully. This also means that you have to massage and caress the region sufficiently before entering.

Please, I will advice you have this discussion with your wife first, before venturing into anal sex with any anal toy whatsoever.

Hello Joan, I’m a boy of about 30years old and can't go beyond 1 round of sex unless I use drugs which I’m not happy with. Please what do I do; because am really ashamed of myself especially during intercourse with my woman. Thanks

Dafe Elliot – Lagos

Dear Dafe

I understand how frustrated and miserable you could feel during sex with your woman but there is nothing to be ashamed of. First of all, I would advise you to visit your doctor for a thorough check on what could possibly be the problem.

However, it’s possible you are suffering from weak erection or premature ejaculation. According to Dr. Sandra Ekwunife, a man is to last long enough to satisfy his partner stressing that a one round of intensive encounter lasting between 30 and 45 minutes from foreplay to orgasm will be moderately satisfying to any average couple than to have 10 rounds in 10 minutes.

However, if a man could also maintain a rock-hard erection and could hold on for 30 minutes to one hour, even a nympho should be absolutely satisfied.

I also advise you eat more onion and okoro. These are vegetables which have been prescribed to help in such problems.

Nonetheless, try be relaxed your mind during sex or at all times. Freer mind, better sex. Bottom line is, make love to your woman in a gradual and intimate process instead of rushing it. With this, you can last longer and satisfy her better with the various love making processes like, fondling, caressing, kissing etc.

Still visit your doctor!

Hopefully, i got it all this week. you could join the discussions or send in your sex problems to  . I am waiting and ready to help always.