Could a married woman fall in love with another man who is also married with kids?
I’m a married lady, been married for 4 years with 2kids. During my days in higher institution, I was raped by someone I thought was a friend. I had negative impression about the opposite sex after that except for my husband whom I was dating (without sex) even before the sad incident.
Problem now is I have a new male friend, met few times, just hi-hi things. He is also married with 2kids. We both know we ain’t just friends because seems like we are getting too fond of each other. I want my friend back, is there anything we can do to get back to being normal? Thanks
Annoymous, Benin - Nigeria
Love is a beautiful thing sweetheart and you have found it, please do not lose it. For your husband to have stayed with you even after that horrible period of your life should tell you that he really loved and still loves you dearly.
Sometimes in marriage, partners become bored with each other, it’s natural but instead of drifting from each other, you should instead find better ways of rekindling that love and marriage. For example, take a break from work or whatever you do and spend time with each other more. You could go on a trip together or surprise him with the best things he never had.
Please remember you have two beautiful kids with that man and if he finds out that you are having feelings for someone else, how do you think he will feel?
My name is Nancy and I am 21. I was dis-virgined by my first boyfriend called Emmy and I know he truly loves me, but he is a pauper. Now, I have met Eric who loves me too. He gives me everything just to see that I’m happy and he is asking my hand in marriage. My problem is Emmy is asking me to have a baby with him out of wedlock so that I can stay with him. What do I do and I love both of them. I’m confused which one to follow. I need your advice, please.
Nancy, Jos - Nigeria
I understand a young woman feels the need to explore so many things in life including people and it’s not so bad but she also knows deep down in her whom she really wants to be with and for what reason. If you allowed Emmy [1 boyfriend] to take away your virginity while he was a pauper, then you can definitely stay with him now if you truly love him.
The only reason I see why you are thinking of Eric [2 boyfriend] is because he gives you things that Emmy can’t afford at the moment. If Emmy could ask you to have a baby for him, then try to think that he really wants you to be in his life forever. You both have been together even if he’s poor.
I don’t mean to say Eric doesn't fit into the plan; he may love you for real. But seems you only want to be with him not because you love him back but for the things he offers. What if he loses those ‘things’, what happens then? All I am saying is do not miss out on true love just because someone is poor now. If you love Emmy, then you would access if he can work hard and be rich sometime in the future. Think it through my dear.
I'm 18 and I have read here about the female ejaculation. How can I achieve this with my girlfriend? How do I make her squirt?
Johnson, Lagos - Nigeria
The phenomenon of female ejaculation is still unclear in today's sexology. We still don't know for sure why some women experience it and others don't. It's probable that many women ejaculate even without realizing it as the amount of liquid is so small.
I would advise you not to chase this phenomenon. It definitely does not mean that sex is better for the woman with an ejaculation than without. So if you really want to do something good for your girlfriend, ask her directly what she likes and what she wants from you. That way you will both get more out of it.
Hope I got very close to solving your relationship problems this week. You too can send me your mail to firstname.lastname@example.org . Let's keep on talking.