So there you are, with a body count to rival Fela, a baby boy in his prime, just catching trips and enjoying your life. There out of nowhere you’re at a friend’s birthday party, or even church crossing over into the New Year when you meet this girl.

It’s not as if you were even looking for her o but of course one day, monkey go go market, e no go return.

You think you're a hard guy until one day you see her passing and you're like,

Who is this baby henjeh?

It's not like you've not seen fine girls before, but this one is just doing your brain like

You can’t explain it, but this babe is faya!

Hard guy, Hard guy, but when you try to say Hi to her, you're just there speechless like,

“Aunty, who gave you this jazz you're using”

And when she opens her mouth to speak to you,

And no, it's not mouth odour.

And when she finally starts loving you back small small. But your body is sweeting you like.

You wan’t me to die?

Before you hated her area because it's far, but now, you've joined "Fast and Furious" gang.

Before you hated clingy people, but now you're crying because she hasn't texted you for one hour.

You know your destiny is now inside calabash.

Every time you tell her that imagine both of you spending the rest of your lives together, she's always like,

Baby why are you doing this to me?

You’re jejely on Snapchat at 2am and see her in the club giving another man grinds.

Wow. I feel betrayed.

How your friends react when you confess to them that you have caught feelings.

Hard guy but babe is giving you hypertension.

You people go out on a dates and each time somebody always tries to toast bae.

Izz like you're mad.

You finally panic and text her all your true feelings and she sends back ‘lol. ok.’

I’m not crying, I just used eye drops.

So you corner her and ask her what’s wrong and she starts giving you lyrics like, ‘I don’t want to hurt you. I’m toxic.’

“I don’t mind, I have sanitizer.”

Then she tells you point blank. “I’m not ready for a relationship.”

Don’t let me disgrace the two of us here.

You call her number one day, and she replies "who's this?"

It takes a while but you finally get over her and return to your Ashawo ways.

I'm back!

Then she texts you six months later saying she misses you, and you're just like

You have failed, you jezebel!