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You Know I'm Just Joking by Ayomide Tayo Dear GEJ, no one throws shade on Facebook anymore

While Jonathan Goodluck was taking shots at President Buhari, Small Doctor was trying his best to understand SnapChat.

  • Published: , Refreshed:
President says he fainted when Jonathan called to concede play

Muhammadu Buhari and Goodluck Jonathan

(Nigerianeye)

It's another wonderful Monday.

If you are an Arsenal fan, this mourning would be tough. I would say sorry for the huge loss against Liverpool but I could care less. My team, Manchester United won 2-0 and the Gunners couldn't defeat an average Liverpool team.

I now understand why so many Nigerians are Arsenal fans. The North London club celebrates mediocrity more than any top club in Europe's big leagues.

Alexis Sanchez play

Arsenal's Alexis Sanchez reacts during their match against Liverpool in Liverpool, north west England on August 27

(AFP)

 

When it comes to the acceptance and promotion of mediocrity, Nigerians are very guilty. The Bible says the deep calleth unto the deep. This applies to Nigerian Arsenal fans and their great club- the mediocre calleth unto the mediocre.

Arsene Wenger play

Arsenal's manager Arsene Wenger takes his seat for the English Premier League football match against Liverpool August 27, 2017

(AFP)

 

OK, I'm done taking shots at the wounded. Former President Jonathan Goodluck is in the mood to be taking shots. The Niger-Delta politician who claimed he never had shoes growing up, took a shot at President Buhari.

"I am the most abused and insulted President in the world but when I leave office, you will all remember me for the total freedom you enjoyed under my Government" read the quote on a picture posted on Goodluck's official Facebook page.

The picture posted by former President Goodluck Jonathan on his Facebook page play

The picture posted by former President Goodluck Jonathan on his Facebook page

(Facebook/Goodluck Jonathan)

 

This attempt at throwing shade to Daddy Bubu is funny. It's only old people who diss others on Facebook. That is old school. No one does that again. If GEJ wants to take shots, he can fire up a nasty Twitter thread. This is how the cool kids of today do it. If he doesn't want to do it himself, he can slide into Sub Delivery Man's DM and blast our president. Don't worry SDM will keep him anon.

Goodluck Jonathan should just forget about it. His time has come and gone. History will rate his tenure as wasted years. He should enjoy his retirement in peace and keep quiet.

Small Doctor should also keep quiet. The singer ironically played his penalty kick to a throw-in last week when a video emerged of him gratifying himself. It's a sight I hope never to see again in my entire life.

Small Doctor performing street anthem 'Penalty' at Industry Nite Special with 9ice and the Shuga band play

Small Doctor performing street anthem 'Penalty' at Industry Nite Special with 9ice and the Shuga band

(Pulse)

 

To do a little bit of damage control, Small Doctor said his SnapChat account was hacked that's why you saw a footage of him playing with his 'small doctor'.  How laughable is this? Everyone who uses SnapChat knows hacking it is very hard. The most likely explanation is that he mistakenly sent the graphic clip to his story instead of an intended person.

Small Doctor should just use WhatsApp like most people who struggle with new social media apps. Nobody wants to see him naked again.

Hopefully, this week will be smooth and very positive. Let's hope for the best but expect the worst. That's just life.

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