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Candid Thots Reasons to Dump Your Girlfriend

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You have had it up to here and you really do want out but you do not know how to go about it? Yes, I mean you have been thinking about dumping that babe who has now become a thorn in your flesh, but you always have a draw-back at the last minute?

Well, I am here to help. I want to give you tips on how to do away with that perpetual sorrow giver who has turned your life into a living nightmare.

Here we go bro.

She puts on weight: This is number one reason to let her go. What is it? She didn’t go out with you for your looks, so let’s face it, it doesn’t matter if you look like you’re about to give birth. As for her, she must remain forever trim, slim, shapely and trendy. Anything outside this, show her the door. The lazy, fat, cow; phew!

She flirts with another man: Yes bro, she looks down on you to even contemplate flirting with another man. What audacity! If she does it, even once; even unintentionally; even if she is ‘just being friendly’, which it isn’t, boot her out man!

She complains about the other girl: I think it is time these ladies know we are living in a man’s world. She has no right, absolutely none, to question you and what you do. She should be grateful that you are not doing it in front of her. If she exhibits any jealous streak, out!

She frowns at some of your weird and sick sexual fantasies: If you truly love someone, you will do what it takes to satisfy them and fulfil their needs, even if it’s a little uncomfortable. So anytime some bizarre sexual fantasy catches your fancy and she refuses to comply with it, boot her out.

She bleats on about how badly women have it compared to men: Shut up and get the hell out. All you do is complain about periods, pregnancy, pains of child bearing, taking care of the kids, cooking, taking care of us and at night, doing your conjugal duties, blah blah blah. As if we care!

She complains about your friends: Seriously! Grow up lady. These guys are my buddies for life. If you can’t stand them, stay out baby.

She says anything negative: Any woman that makes any negative comments about you, your family, even if you have notorious armed robbers in your family, or makes derogatory statements about your little Johnny being, well, small, or your being unable to satisfy her in bed, has no reason to stay. She is a complete bitch and should move fast.

She goes out with her friends and you’re not invited: What is she trying to hide? Guy, wise up, your babe is shagging another guy. You do not need any evidence; she’s shagging someone else.

She complains about your habits. Now this is particularly sore for me, because I have loads of bad habits. When you first go out with a woman, they don’t mind what you do, but once they’ve got their grasping little claws into you, that all changes. They try to tell you not to smoke, drink, fart, pick your nose, blow your nose in public, walk around in your boxers all day etc., and generally doing all the stuff that makes you a man, or at least, a male older than 12. Man, tell her to take a running jump into the Lagos lagoon.

She tries to make you clean up: What the heck! It is your life and you have lived that way since you were a kid. You have lived like this before you met her, so if she does not like it, the front door is open.

She takes selfie photographs of herself and puts them up on Facebook: Boy, you have serious competition coming your way. Ugh, what are you even doing with someone who does that?

She is a social media freak: Oh my God, she is freaking flirting with 200 hundred guys at the same time and has to go.

She hates the Premier League and Champion League season: This is the greatest of all sins that your woman can ever commit. How on earth does she want you to live without the joys of football, the screaming insults that go with football? And to make matters worse, she is happy when the club you support lose a match. She is a witch and does not want your happiness. So, what are you waiting for brother? Slam the door on her face.  

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