5 Fun Reasons Not To Sleep All Weekend

You see that big looking bright ball that shines all day and makes you feel all sweaty and angry? Well you gotta appreciate that guy. Reason’s because there are lands where he never comes up, and the inhabitants look like a cross between Dracula and Zombies (no offence meant, Eskimos). But down here, in sunny, crazy, Naija, we have him in abundance, shining, energizing and refreshing us. Yeah I know he burns us, but the sun is the best thing to happen to all of us. See how well we hate the rainy season. So weekends should be the time when you take time out to worship the sun. Sing the sun a song, a cool romantic song about bright lights and the pleasant aroma of burning skins. It’s way better than sleep. Trust me. And just in case you don’t have good composer skills, you don’t have to worry yourself, let me help you.” I have a sun, a big ugly sun, who burns me all day and makes me hate the world..” You see? A nice romantic song for the sun. Take it from there.

2. Music

I’ve always loved the crying voice of Don Jazzy and that his younger wannabe, D’Prince, Infact, I’ll give all my writing skills for a taste of his goodybag. Well instead of lying supine on your couch or your kitchen floor, while a dribble of spit plays out of your mouth, and your snore could be heard from 50 miles away. Yuck! How disgusting, you could do some good timey music. Away from those boring religious volumes we are wont to spend our time and brain energy on, music feeds the soul in way like no other. It’s like chicken soup for the soul, and who wouldn’t want a good spicy chicken soup. So skip the snore and wriggle to wild Naija beat. If it bores you, then invite your buddies over for some party. Yes! Talking about parties, another reason why you shouldn’t sleep all weekend is…

3. Parties

Alcohol, laughter, good music, super awesome meals, and lots of willing men and women. Compare that to lying on your back, boredom, painful tranquility, distasteful snoring, and a dull brain. I think I’ll sign up for the first one. Parties Ahoy! Weekends also double up as the God-given time when all manner of parties get thrown. People celebrate everything, and anything too. I once attended a gig where the reason for celebration was because the celebrant had his pubic hairs shaved…after 4 years. Awesome. So parties it is for the weekend. Whatever part of Nigeria you have the fortune or ill-luck to reside in, then there are always parties to attend. The Yorubas are cursed with lots of OwambeThe Igbos have Mmanya parties, the Akwa Ibomites love their Usoroh, and the Joeys (the clan of super douchebags like me), have their wild beer-drinking, piss-poor, celebrations of alcoholism. Hurray! So unless you’re one anti-social, dirt of a man, you should have a weekend groove. If you don’t, you definitely have no business being among humans. The zoo calls.

4. Friends

Gosh! Thought I’d skip this one. There’s so much to write on this topic alone that I got so intimidated and made it come this late. And also, so much has been written about friendship that if I’m to spend some words on this topic, I’ll have an attack of conscience because I’ll be wasting valuable words. But then here are 2 lines, with my 2 cents about weekend friends; Friends, those bunch of backstabbers and do-gooders are your most prized possessions on weekends. Give them a good time. Don’t just sleep and leave them alone to their machinations. Get them closer, spend time and money on them, because for all their betrayal and lies, we still need them. Life, what an irony.

Now you know that there are lots of things to do, fun things that are way more amazing than that peaceful sleep, go into the weekend and have the most fun ever!

Rose Petals & Sunshine! Happy Weekends…