Don't mind haters, keep enjoying your crazy viral dance

Forget Mr Eazi. Nigeria and Ghana do have a lot in common that does not concern Banku Music. And just in time to counter his comments that he introduced elements of the country’s music into Nigeria, there’s a new craze.

Have you heard of ‘One Corner’, or as one of my friends call it, ‘One Kwana’? That song is rocking Ghana to pieces. People are literally losing all atoms of home training, born out of eating restrictive Ghanain Jollof, to actually have fun.

All of this is thanks to a guy named Patapaa, (that’s his real name by the way. Patapaa!) who recorded the song almost nonchalantly and had no idea that he would become the most talked about one-hit wonder in Ghana. But guess what? He is about to go international by crossing into Nigeria. Yes. Patapaaa, with his sick and admittedly dumb song, is crossing over into Nigeria at an alarming rate.

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And I say this not from intentional social media videos, but from a personal experience. During the weekend, I and a few colleagues put together a party for the evening. As is the case, I handled the music, and once I saw things were getting boring, I decided to test the waters.

Immediately I pushed play, the entire crowd switched it up. People ran away from their offices to search for a corner to hump and do the ‘One Corner’ dance. These weren’t hormone-fuelled teenagers seeking for cheap thrill and looking to be relevant. These were people’s fathers and mothers, young urban professionals, who are captains of their industries. They shamelessly found a personal corner and did their thing without fear or remorse.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Patapaa has blown in Nigeria. He might not make money from shows or tour this country, but at least people have listened. In the high brow area of Lekki, filled with snobs and fakes, this man from the backwaters of Ghana has scored a hit.

Somebody give it up for ‘One Corner’!

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But as you know, some people hate good things in life. This set of people just have to be the ones to prevent people from having fun. They are ‘tighting’ life to their chest, and so can’t even enjoy happiness, even if it hits them with Davido’s ‘Chuku chuku’ in the arse.

They have begun to criticize everybody that wants to enjoy ‘One Corner’. You could find their negativity all over the internet. Their self-righteousness and arrogance can be felt in every corner attacking everyone who dances to ‘One Corner’.

Check out this little message from my old friend and intellectual, Aham Kingsley:

“One Corner Dance. Isn't this the height of human stupidity, Ghanaians more so? I'll gladly castrate anyone who comes anywhere near me convulsing like a horny dog on heat in the name of dance. I'm traumatized right now. Dance kee you there.”

Aham echoes the sentiments of numerous Nigerians who have decided to be the ‘stupidity police’, and be the last line of defence against pure enjoyment. It’s comments like this that have made us too uptight to enjoy anything good in our life. We can’t simply indulge in something as cheap and harmless as convulsing like a horny dog, without being judged by intellectuals. That’s why Nigerians are literally the stiffest people in West Africa.

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But I tell you what; don’t mind them. It’s just a dance bro. The same way we have danced to Small Doctor’s ‘Penalty’, and the other song ‘Alhaji’, we can enjoy this too. ‘One Corner’ is a harmless record that is designed as a simple pleasure. Nobody needs to take that away from you or judge the parts of you that are human.

So my dear brother and sister. Fellow Nigerians. Grab your phone right now, download that song and convulse away like a horny dog. This life is too stressful for you to not enjoy ‘stupid creativity’. If anything, it is cheap.

And if anyone tries to judge you for it, show up in front of their house with your goons, and a huge speaker, turn up the song and have a national convention for one-corner-induced convulsion of horny dogs.

This life doesn’t need to be that hard.