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Tiwa, Beyoncé, Omawumi and the double standards of the Entertainment Industry

This is a blog post by Abigail Ocheibi...I remember telling a friend that 2016 is a year of ‘give and take’ in the entertainment industry.

Tiwa, Beyoncé, Omawumi

I’m never personally invested in celebrity relationships, but it’s hard to ignore what has been going on lately in the media, especially when it involves your favourite entertainer. If you have been keeping tracks of the drama in Nigeria’s entertaiment industry lately, you would agree with me that it has been a lot of fire with no rain since January.

While we were trying to make some New Year Resolutions, two big label heads, Don Jazzy and Olamide, started off the year in a heated disagreement at the 2016 Headies Awards, following the failure of Olamide’s YBNL artist Lil Kesh to win the coveted Next Rated Award, losing to Mavin Records’ Reekado Banks.

And just while we were trying to recover from being gutted by two out of the very few real talents in the industry, Wizkid and Dammy Krane’sdispute rocked the boat as they took their fight off social media and made it rather physical.

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Even celebrities on the international scene aren’t spared from the drama, as we recount the hullabaloo with Wiz Khalifa and Kanye West and the latter with Tyler Swift.  Or do we mention the twitter battle between Kanye and his ex, Amber Rose, or the melodrama with Kylie and Blac Chyna, 50 Cent, Drake and Meek Mill?

But the event that really has everyone talking in recent times is the marital controversy between two of our favourite couples in the music industry, Tiwa Savage and Tunji Balogun. The aftereffect of the abrupt demise in the scandalous relationship still lingers in our hearts, as we keep praying for the best for both parties involved.

But what has drawn my attention to the Tiwa-Tunji affair was the interview granted by Tiwa to Pulse TV, which attracted lots of comments and reactions from the general public, which by the way, is the reason for this article. Personally, I was not expecting to be cracked wide by the story, neither was I expecting to shed a lifetime of tears but I did.

Tiwa’s story is about so much more than one relationship and its infidelity. It’s about the love that a woman has – the love that threatens to kill us, that sometimes gets us nothing but trouble and infidelity, and the polemic from the public.

If I may relate the Tiwa -Tunji’s controversy to Jay Z’s alleged infidelity to his spouse, Beyoncé, which her new album, ‘’, was based off.  Two strong, talented women who suddenly felt violated and unsafe, not just in the societies where they live, but also by those they never doubted their abilities to protect them.

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They felt the need to speak up and be heard while holding hands with thousands of women around the world who are going or been through the same or similar path, also ideally serving as a motivating factor to women who have been rendered voiceless by a sexist society.  Now, this is by no means a conclusion of whether or not their stories were true, but, of course, an analysis based on what they shared with us and the backlashes and criticisms they have received for speaking up.

When Tiwa Savage’s husband (Tunji Balogun), had his Instagram account allegedly hacked and we got hinted on their marital issues, most comments and opinions were centered on how traumatized the husband was. Now, those were the kind of reactions I expected when Tiwa finally spoke out in an interview with the Pulse TV.

But, no, comments and reactions were pouring in, most of them negative and defamatory.  ‘Oh Tiwa, shut up and fix your marriage’  ‘Tunji needs you now more than ever’, ‘Why did she say all she said, why didn’t she keep it on the low?’, ‘She should have kept it private.’

Those were examples of reactions the interview attracted. Some people also took to social media and trolled the twitter account of a certain Teniola Kashaam, also nicknamed ‘Edible Catering’, as the woman who Tunji allegedly cheated with, bashing her as a home wrecker.

The same goes for American Fashion Designer, Rachel Roy, who many believed was ‘Becky with the good hair’, the sidechick Beyoncé mentioned in her album trying to breakup her six year old marriage with rapper business mogul husband, Jay Z.

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While Teniola and Rachel might have received some tongue lash from the public, less has been said to neither Jay Z nor Tunji.  Many have even gone ahead to make excuses for them. Now, with these emphases laid, the question is why are women always at the receiving end?

Sexism in the entertainment industry is nothing new – just ask Amber Rose.  The model, author and feminist icon has been on the receiving end of derogatory remarks and serious hate from the public – including her ex, Kanye West - who can’t seem to put her past to rest.

The former stripper stated passionately in a post, coming out loud and clear “Look at Channing Tatum. He was a stripper just like me. No one says sh*t. He’s at the f***ing Oscars. He’s at the Vanity Fair Party. You know what I’m saying? No one cares because he’s a man. They’re never going to care. Tatum embraced the fact he was a stripper and made a movie and kind of made fun of himself. But if I make fun of myself and call myself a slut, or talk about my stripper past and say it was the best time of my life – I was young and beautiful and making a hundred thousand in cash a year. How f***ing fun was that? I had a bunch of friends, it was a party every night – I get ridiculed for that”.

One of Nigeria’s renowned singers, Omawumi Megbele, recently walked out of an interview session (Da Chat) with Zinnia on HFTV Africa after an unfounded rumour of her drinking and smoking was brought up by the interviewer. Omawumi since the interview has been criticized for her reaction.

We can agree that the interviewer might have been doing her job, confronting the entertainer about the drinking and smoking rumours, but let’s be real here, if Omawumi was a man, would that question even come up? Would it have been okay if Omawumi said nothing at the jabs and slurs thrown at her image and that of her kids?  Perhaps it’s ok for men to drink and smoke while women live on fufu and water?

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The tabloids paint Britney Spears as a neglectful, deranged, drug-addicted mother who frequently and even endangers her children and whose partying ways are responsible for her demise. The video and images of Amy Winehouse doing crack and cocaine have been widely circulated, along with a flurry of recent articles alleging that her frequent drug use is to blame for the decline in her health – including emphysema and her stark emaciation.

But a video of Heath Ledger hanging out at a drug-fueled party before his death didn’t make it to air on Entertainment Tonight, nor did it appear elsewhere.  Sure, plenty of male stars get excoriated by the media – Mel Gibson to name one. But overwhelmingly, as a recent New York Times article alleges, “Men who fall from grace are treated with gravity and distance, while women in similar circumstances are subjects of derision, titillation and black comedy”.

Double standards and sexism are found everywhere, in every sector, from politics to region to entertainment. Women aren’t allowed to be presidents or hold positions attributed to men. And while male musicians can easily write about one-night stands, if a girl writes one, she receives jabs from the public and in that capacity; it tends to affect how they’re viewed.

If a guy sleeps around he is called a player, but if a girl does the same, she’s tagged as a slut. When a woman’s love and commitment and struggle are met with disregard and disloyalty, she’s not expected to be angry. A woman who shows her anger is quickly scorned. But the truth remains that if women are just as human as men then they deserve better treatment by the society and what it expects out of them.

And not until we start to treat women and accord them with same respect as men, we are far from making the world a better place. Because at the very end, we are not judged based on gender but the truthfulness of our hearts in dealing with one another and our morals as individuals.

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