Publisher talks being diagnosed with depression, overcoming it

Excerpts below:

On what triggered her depression,

"Insomnia and Menopause! This is something women don’t talk about but the reality now is that people go into menopause as early as 37. I went into menopause on the other side of 50 but the depression came later. It wasn’t diagnosed in time. I was simply told I was under severe pressure and was advised to close down or take two years off. I lost a lot of weight and people thought it was intentional. Thisday Glitterati wrote I was anorexic.

After two years of going back and forth on the root cause, one day I asked my doctor if it was menopause related. He was surprised I was 50 and admitted that it was likely to be menopause. I suffered depression for years until I made the decision to get out of it. In the morning I didn’t want to open the blinds. I did not socialise for two years and the depression took its toll on my skin as well as my emotions. I would be having a conversation and randomly burst into tears. People were insensitive and made comments about me losing weight because I wanted to stay young but it was all based on ignorance. I am sharing this because we hide what could be helpful to others."

On overcoming depression,

"Family Support, Will Power! Change of outlook towards everything. I woke up one day and decided to get out of it. I decided to fight and get my life back. I didn’t like where I was and I realised no one could get me out of this dungeon except me.

I didn’t like the effect it had on my family so I began to fight back. I fought against the dominance of overwhelming negative emotions. I began to find reasons to be happy. I lived in the NOW. I looked for joy in everything around me and started to read the bible again.

I travelled. I went to both London and New York fashion week and stayed abroad for a while. I took time off and went to health farm outside London. The minute I stepped into my room I just zoned out. I slept for 4 hours straight, the first time in nearly 18 months. Before then I was sleeping 2 hours a night.

At the farm, I got to read “The Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyer and I could see that I had been in a battlefield which only a change of mindset and prayers could deliver me from. I blanked out negative thoughts. I listened to praise songs and danced.

I fought for my sanity through positive affirmations, I also had my family’s support which is priceless! I began to see a counsellor back in Nigeria and gradually we began to make a headway. We worked on my sleep hygiene and a more holistic approach to treating depression."

On meeting her husband Soni Irabor,

"It wasn’t love at first sight. I remember when I was at the University of Lagos, Soni would come around Matthew’s buttery and every girl wanted to talk to him and be seen with him and I used to think; “who does he think he is?”

Years later when I was working as a public relations officer, I needed to put together an event and I was clueless as to how to go about it. I spoke to the company’s Singaporean receptionist about it and she promised to introduce me to a man who could help me; a man she described as Robert Redford.

When he walked into the office days later I was like… “Is that not the celebrity radio and TV guy?” Anyway he put me through the event and I rewarded him with a date and we were married 9 months later."

On turning 60,

"Hello 60! Give me a hug!! I feel great, fulfilled, I feel blessed on all fronts though a while ago I found myself hyperventilating about turning 60. I looked at my life and thought, “What have I achieved?” I was told that it was the burden of an over-achiever.

That didn’t placate me but digging deep into the recess of my soul provided some answers. I began to look at success from the perspective of the impact made and lives touched in anyway shape or form.

That took me into the gratitude mode. 60 is a huge number but to be frank, I don’t know how to be 60, I only know how to be Betty! When I look at my life all I see is a beautiful story of a woman who came from nowhere to make something out of her life, I love the woman I have become."