Some Lagos Real Estate Agents Are Crooked Demons

Lagosians know how tough the task of securing a comfortable shelter-necessity is, especially for people newly injected into the unfamiliar Lasgidi terrin.... It is hell!

As more and more people move to the city, with a projected population of over 17 million people, the situation gets worse creating an obvious abyss between demand for housing and the supply, an opportunity landlords and greedy estate maximally agents exploit to turn Czars.

On Saturday, I was in Ajah, trying to get a decent self-contained apartment, to enable get to my place of work on time, without having to wake up at 4:30 am as I do now.

Three bus rides from Ketu and I was at Ajah.

A personal surveillance bore no fruits so I hit on real estate agent 1. Two hours later, he was N200 richer, I same amount poorer but all the 'houses' he showed me were fit only for raising poultry.

Agent number 2 wanted me to take a 3 bedroom apartment by all means. Ah, emi nikan tan!

I struck gold with agent 3 who showed me a 'nice' (cough) self contain apartment at Sango-tedo, a bit further away from Ajah. Hmmm! Oluwa modupe!

Then they (it was a collabo deal) dropped the bombshell...

I have to pay N60,000 as agent fee and agreement with a further N20,000 for 'caution'. Caution for wetin?

So I have to shell out N80,000 outside the rent amount - that is just N10,000 short of what I pay as house rent in Nyanya, Abuja where I came from.

The same thing happened with agent 4 and 5... The minimum fee was N60,000.

Imagine! They are not landlords o, but they'll take that much for just showing you around, despite the fact that you'll pay a separate registration fee of N2,000 before they do anything.

Anyway, today is Monday and I have not gotten a house...but my N5000 is in the hands of Ajah cum Sango-tedo 'agents' who just wasted my time, dragging me through all the corners of Ajah and Sangotedo.

I was so pissed that I wrote this poem:

roamed every Ajah road

keke, car Okada, all I rode

i lost a shoe to waka waka

Ah! Lagos agents na real ika!!!

Anyway sha, make somebody help me beg Uncle Fashola to try and dash me one of the lottery houses. If day one dey, I no go dey pursue agents up and down again.

Eko o ni baje o!

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