9 Things You Must Not Do To Your Ex

Dealing with a break-up is not easy but there are things you must not do no matter how hurt you are...

Dealing with a break-up or divorce can be very hard. Your object of love suddenly turns the most hated thing in your life. It is as annoying as it is tiring and painful.

It is so hard to forgive and get over the person, especially when they remain within contact range after the break-up. It can get even more painful if the ex seems to be moving on so easily, or succeeding in other areas of their lives – this can have serious psychological effects.

However, no matter the circumstances, there are certain things you must not do and here are some – not all are applicable to all situations, you must never do.

1. Don't make ‘forgetting’ your ex a mission. Doing this will only make you to waste precious time you would have spent building new relationships. If forgetting them is impossible, then you might consider making-up, depending on the circumstances surrounding the initial break-up. You just have to understand that you can’t erase these memories overnight and you have to live with them try not to be hurt by them.

2. Don't seek vengeance! Physically trying to harm your ex, like acid attack or resorting to babalawo/voodoo things (it happens o!) will only put you in big trouble or taint your soul... let karma do justice.

3. Don't make them a subject of hate. If truly breaking up was the right thing, then hating your ex is like giving them more opportunities to hurt you. It is like lying down on the turf after a punch from a friend and then asking him to step on your face... smile when they are around. That will prick their consciences even more.

4. Don't bad-mouth them to other people. Who knows, you just might get back together. Now, how will you unsay all those bad things you have spread around about him or her? Again, how will you face all those you have told: "He/She is a demon!", "Can you imagine she steal?", "He once raped a minor"...

5. Don't use them as an excuse not to move on or live your life. If you are one of those that keep saying “He/She destroyed my life" then you are in serious trouble. You can't live in the past. So it has happened...move on! There are still a lot you can achieve. Do you know that with each success you record, your ex gets a pinch of regret?

6. Stop using them as a yardstick to relate with people, especially potential replacements. If you push people away because of an ex, you are cheating yourself. Truth is, your ex may have moved on and left you behind in that wilderness of loneliness!

7. Don’t talk about your ex in your new relationship. It is a big NO! This poison can destroy your current relationship, especially when you reveal discomfiting information. Keep it locked up or get judged and dumped!

8. Don't resort to blackmail! Whether for financial gains or to get the relationship back, blackmail is a crime that you must not resort to. Perhaps you have those nude photos or documents...let it be!

9. Don't give back all they have given you or demand to get back all you gave them. This one is a childish one that I have done too... it left me shamed!

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