Why me

This past few days has been the challenging days of my life. I went for a recruitment program and after that, I fell sick. I thought it was the stress of standing in a bus or entering into a bus that would not mind going into a pit hole just to pass. This Lagos life wasn't what I envisioned, it was more than I could take, the traffic is really not something to talk about.

I fell too sick to even come out without a wrapper to cover my body, I felt cold everywhere I go even though it was hot. I thought of many things, I cried my eyes out, I hate taking drugs but I had to take but something keeps on not going right even though I was getting better. My throat!!!

I assumed it was sore throat, decided to take a drug for it but realised it wasn't. I woke up one morning, the pains were unbearable each time I swallowed a spit over the night. I took my phone, tried taking a picture but saw nothing, I remembered I have a mirror took it and I checked it.

My tongue was just too white with some flesh on it, I had to inspect further and saw some sore at my jaw angle then some part of my tongue was peeling. I was just too scared for me. Why was everything happening to me at this point in my life.

I tried crying but tears won't come and the pain was just too much for me to handle. I needed to see a doctor but the time was just ticking too slowly, my thoughts were is the devil after me. I was just thrown into the world of my own, I remembered my mom, should I go home but she would think am still a baby and can't fend for myself alone.

I felt it was God punishing me for thinking of suicide because, I did not value my life anymore. I needed to run back to the very one who changes everything to really say how sorry I was but was He going to hear me out this time?

When the times are all rosy and funfilled, I failed to acknowledge God then things went wrong and I decided to remember Him. I thought about something drastic without realising I was been too ungrateful to God for life especially, my story above made me realise it and I felt so ashamed.

Yeah, many times we fall victims of being ungrateful even though we don't realise we are. It doesn't take anything to be grateful, you don't have to show off everything by been loud about it. Just a simple Thank you Jesus when you wake up and go about your business would go a long way.

In your time of fame, don't forget to be grateful to God.

Article written by Faith Otu

Faith Otu is a graduate of Mass Communication. She is a writer and she loves to share/express her feelings, experiences, ideas and more through writing.

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