3 things to know before going 'crazy' on social media

It feels like ages (because it is) since Tunji Balogun faked a meltdown and pretended to attempt suicide in a well-orchestrated attention-seeking stunt that began on social media. One of the great things about social media is that it can make you; I am a beneficiary and I won't even lie.

Another thing is that it can (and has been used to try to) break people. If some people aren't reporting your Facebook account, they are 'throwing shade' or 'subbing'. Apparently, this is the new way to seek attention and display your frustration with life. There are probably many things to know about this dubious skill, but here are three things that struck me:

Common sense is truly not common. Apart from the fact that some people think shading or subbing (biko, what's the difference?) is a way to reveal secrets, what is the point in referring to something that the person you're dissing has already admitted, revels in or has moved on from? Someone says, “Single mother” as if that is an insult. Or “divorcee”. Such a phrase will either be a statement of fact, or a lie. It is not a sub.

If it is true, it is what it is – especially if the person has stated this, themselves. In this age where some misguided children of displaced anger try to be the first with breaking news (of another person's real or imagined flaws or downfall), it is actually pitiable. It's like trying to out someone, who has actually been out of the closet, gay and proud for years. You almost want to tell some of these people, “Is that news? Keep up, please!”

Last week was the first time I read someone being dissed for … working hard! I couldn't believe my eyes. I had to read that sentence twice, and it still didn't make sense.

I didn't realise that working for your money was supposed to be something you could use to insult someone, who has already said, “Hey! I work for my money.” Seriously, there are no words to adequately describe how damaged and pathologically evil a person must be, to even believe that working hard for your money is something to be ashamed of.

There is this saying, “Na customer dey move market”. It's not surprising (although it should probably be) how that some folk who cannot face a person, jump on a bandwagon to like comments when that person is being attacked. Like someone will say, it's “plagiarising an insult”. So, you have these people who have nothing better to do with their time, getting all aroused when a successful person that they are envious of, is subbed or shaded or dissed (seriously, I don't know what the difference is).

Some of them will be people who have followed every post and action of the subject, out of hatred and envy. Envy is a terrible thing – it's the real McCoy where witchcraft is concerned. Why would you spend your time being envious of someone, because their reality is dining where you can only dream of?

So, you create some frankly laughable lies about them, just because you want the adulation of lily-livered folk who are even more pathetic? It's bad enough that you're hiding behind a phone or computer, but how can you actually live with all that bitterness to the point where you're spending your borrowed data to fan your envy and stay in obscurity?