In fact, I am of the belief that the only people happy about receiving their periods are those who had a pregnancy scare...
On one hand, people embrace the blood in all its glory. They even go on to tell you why you also should embrace your period.
In the other camp, there are the period haters. Frankly, every person who experiences periods should be a period hater. I don’t ever see myself as one to jump for joy when my period comes or strike a laugh-out-loud, hearty pose like a suspicious looking stock photo model while opening a pack of pads.
In fact, I am of the belief that the only people happy about receiving their periods are those who had a pregnancy scare, and those girls who have waited for their periods because all their friends are getting theirs. Even then, the latter should only exist in fictional works, and stay there.
I remember the day I was carried, crumbled and flung into the world of girl-womanhood. Oh yes. I’d been living my life lavishly. Throwing myself however I wanted and whenever I wanted. Life couldn’t have been better. The beginning of the end came one morning when I realized I was literally bleeding.
Cue the full on panic mode, filled with hasty prayers for God to save my soul as it appeared I was dying. My mother who simply threw some pads at me silenced this panic attack. That was the end of that. No awkward, welcome to womanhood pep talk, cake, or anything I see in movies. I’d like to think I’ve been functioning just fine ever since.
Anyway, even though I can’t unsubscribe to the monthly deposit, I’ve decided to curate a list of how to accept your period. Let’s face it, it isn’t going anywhere.
Here is my how to list for accepting your period:
Now, I doubt the people reading this would be pre-pubescent teenagers, but if there are, hello. As for the rest of you oldies who are probably used to the whole monthly she-bang, we just have to accept our fate. while I honestly always question why there wasn’t a card passed around when I was 11, giving me 2 options – yes or no?
It would be a pink card and have ‘mother nature subscription’ written boldly at the top, and two little boxes signifying my options at the bottom. I would’ve gladly ticked no and skipped away into the sunset. Of course, that’s not happening. I will forever side-eye Aunty Eve. Girl, what were you doing in that Garden?
Now that you have accepted your fate, you need to ensure that when the monthly monster shows up, you struggle in peace. Therefore, I would suggest that you pick your struggle well. Of course, the number one method for dealing with your period is the use of pads. I’m sure we all like to swim in blood for a whole week. There’s also tampons – my personal favourite. I’ve heard of cups, but I’m good thanks.
So now you’ve accepted it, found your method of dealing it (without any pesky stains, I hope) all you can do is own it. I find it amazing that I can be in excruciating pain and keep a straight face. I doff my hat to those ladies who have to deal with extreme cramps due to one issue or the other. I’m sending hugs, chocolate, warm bottles (their names escape me), and a large pack of pads/tampons your way. I also send bullets to those who try to silence your voice, acting like they’re in your shoes, trying to downplay your pain.
So there we have it, a light hearted guide to accepting one of the worst things ever (in my opinion) and owning it. If you’re someone who bleeds like 1 teaspoon without any cramps whatsoever, and feel I’m being extra…well… is it your extra? Just enjoy your light period life and leave me, abeg.
What was your first period experience like?
Written by Amaka E.
Amaka is a quirky individual who likes to write. When she’s not imploding from her hectic law student life, she represents to people of the internet that she is an extrovert. In actuality, she is a hermit.
Blog: www.mindofamaka.com Instagram: @mindofamaka Twitter: @mindofamaka