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As a female entrepreneur, I've been rejected over 100 times — here are 5 ways to turn a 'no' into a moment of success

Jen Glantz is a bestselling author and the founder and CEO of Bridesmaid for Hire , a boutique services company that offers professional bridesmaids who "take care of all your wedding dirty work."

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  • Like many young entrepreneurs, she has experienced plenty of discouraging rejections.
  • But instead of letting these negative experiences derail her, Glantz turned them into lessons for how to do better next time.
  • She says it's important to always follow up, ask for feedback on what you did wrong and how to improve, and always try again.
  • Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories .

I collect my moments of rejection like a millennial might have collected baseball cards or Beanie Babies back in the '90s. They are as much a part of me as any moment of success, and I wear them proudly, showing off emails, text messages, and letters from companies and people who have told me no over the years, to anyone who comes over to my house.

This all started when I applied to be a writer for my high school newspaper and got rejected by a teacher who told me he thought I'd be better off joining the cheer squad because I wasn't a very good writer but had solid enthusiasm. I felt defeated, and made a decision right then and there to give up on my childhood dream of pursuing writing. One person told me I wasn't good enough, yet it felt like a million people. I let the heartburn of the moment consume me for weeks before realizing that rejection is another way of hearing, "Figure out what's not working and try again." That mindset didn't lead me to a spot on the newspaper staff, but it did lead me to a paying gig, in high school, as a columnist with the local newspaper.

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Since then, I've been rejected hundreds of times. I have a collection of emails from almost every single book publisher out there sharing their desire not to publish one of the many books I've submitted over the years. I have text messages saved from people I had a crush on and decide to ask out, only to hear that they weren't interested in dating me. I have all of my college rejection letters bound together in a photo album. If you came to my house, you'd like to think I was a professional at failing, but really, I've become a professional at turning rejection into key moments of success. I've published books (with those same publishers who once told me no), and while I didn't get everyone who I liked to love me back, I did learn how to get over dating rejection fast, which eventually led me to finding the right person for me.

If you're feeling defeated because of constant rejection, here are five ways to turn a no moment into a moment of success.

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When you're in the thick of dealing with finding out you're not getting what you hoped for, it can be easy to delete the email or rip up the letter of rejection. Instead, save it. Put it aside for a few hours or days, but then come back and respond. Your response can do two major things to help you get closer to a 'yes' moment.

First, your response back can show the person that you understand you didn't get this opportunity, but that you are open to hearing about any other potential opportunities that you might be a good fit for in the future.

For example, upon hearing you didn't get a job you applied for at a company you admire, respond back with interest in other available opportunities and share something new with the company (perhaps experience you have related to that other job, or something similar you're working on now that might catch their interest).

When book publishers deny my manuscript, I will ask if there's a genre or topic they are looking for that's similar to the plot I pitched. That way, I know what revisions I can make or what topics they are currently looking to go after.

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The other major reason to respond is for feedback. A huge step in moving closer toward your goal is learning more about why you didn't get it in round one. Maybe you were missing a key qualification or something about your application or ask wasn't a fit. Find out why. The more detailed the feedback the better. Even if you don't agree with it, feedback is essential to the process of finding out how to optimize and rework your game plan.

When I was rejected from getting a part-time teaching job I really wanted, I replied back asking what else my application could have had to get this job. That's when I found out that I was missing three certificates that they wanted all their part-time teachers to have. If I didn't send that follow-up email, I would never have known why I didn't get the opportunity.

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Head back to your personal strategy and think through what you can change or do differently before you try again. If no feedback was given, turn to other industry professionals who can look over your application and give you feedback as to why you might not have gotten that yes.

When I launched my business and reached out to reporters hoping they'd cover my story, most were silent or responded "no thanks, not a fit" but didn't give me any feedback as to why. I turned to a few friends in the PR and journalism industry to see why I might not have gotten the response I wanted. Instantly, they provided me with powerful feedback about my pitch and press releases that I never would have known were wrong or confusing. Making those fixes allowed me to try again with enormous success.

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Most things you want in life boil down to being a numbers game. If you apply for just a few jobs go on a couple of dates or ask one or two people for something, the odds most likely won't be in your favor.

Once you've received a long list of no's from companies or people, spend the time revising and optimizing but then try again. Respond back to them with an updated application, or with updated value that you can add. While it can feel awkward to send that email or make that phone call, it's important to take the pressure off that you only get one shot to do things right. It's perfectly okay to reach back out to people and ask a second or third time for something.

When companies I liked rejected my job application, I would make a note to email them in 3-4 months trying again. Even if they didn't have any new open positions or felt I wasn't a good fit, it allowed me to build a relationship with them and establish name recognition with them. One time, the company didn't have a position for me, but after applying for the third time, they connected me with a partner company, and I was able to get an incredible position there.

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One of the things we count as rejection is silence. When a company or person doesn't respond we check off that attempt as a failed one. But in fact, that loss falls on us when we ask for something once and don't do a good job of following up. Send anywhere between 3-5 follow-up emails, in the course of three months, if you don't hear back from someone. In the follow-up emails, provide new value (ex: one more thing I want to add or tell you about is.).

That way, it's a new refreshing email for them to read. There's always the chance that your first email got buried in their inbox and they won't even realize you reached out until email number five.

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When I tried to get my business on a popular morning show, it wasn't until the eighth email I sent (over two months) where the producer finally responded and apologized to me, saying that they didn't see my emails until that eighth one.

Rejection only stings when you take the no as a finale to your goal. It's not. It's just a way for you to smooth out your ask and try again.

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