Second chances are part of life. You know, the whole idea of not giving up on a person or a situation based only on an underwhelming first impression? Yeah that. So, what happens when you apply this logic to relationships? I asked around and got the experiences of these 5 people who held nothing back:
1. Jelani: It’s a terrible idea
From my experience, it's a terrible idea. I gave an ex a chance and my life almost got ruined. If a relationship ends, it was meant to end and we should let it be. Biggest lesson from it all for me is; trust your gut feeling.
2: Chim: I’m still wondering if I’m making a mistake
We dated for a year, thereabout before breaking up. At some point towards the end of the first time, I was feeling neglected and he was losing trust in me. To be fair, another guy had my attention so I guess he was right to have doubted.
Getting back together was his idea. When he told me he wanted to work things out I was skeptical. But I realized I fucked up too and I owed it to myself to give it another shot. I still liked him, so I thought you know, why not? And so far so good, we're working it out, taking it one day at a time. We’re intentional about communicating more because I have a shitty communication habit. He was in denial previously and was expecting me to reciprocate all these things he was doing but I couldn't keep up. Now he has come to terms with who he's with, but I'm also meeting him half way. I'm working on communicating more. . Although on some days I wonder if I'm making a mistake because of our history.
3. Sarah: Did it twice. Both ended in tears.
First one: we dated for about two years. We broke up because of some issue, I can’t remember for sure. After about six months we decided to go again because we felt we missed ourselves and wanted to make things work no matter what. We got back together and things changed.
He became the exact opposite of himself. It felt like he was just out to just put a title to what we had and then he went on a cheating spree. It was a stupid decision on my part to have endured that for another three years.
Second one: we dated for barely six months and we broke up because he never wanted to have serious conversations whenever we had issues and he liked sweeping things under the carpet. For someone like me that likes to trash issues, I wasn’t having it. And we also broke up because he could randomly just stay away for two weeks and come back like nothing happened. Had to be ment though. Well, we broke up and I moved on faster than I expected. We reconnected a few months after and he was all shades of apologetic. We started talking as friends, he pestered me on getting back. I wasn’t ready but he said he was. I bowed to pressure and I mean - I was mad!!! He always wanted to be in control of my life. He used to say I never listened to him but that was because he always wanted everything seen only from his own perspective. His family members couldn’t call him to order because he was the breadwinner and the breadwinner is always right. We sha broke up and mhen, never again. Never giving any ex a second chance in my life again.
4. Laura: Our issues got worse the second time
We dated for 8 months. The first time we broke up, he said it was because a prophetess told him and his family he hadn’t met his wife yet (whatever that means). I got back with him because I loved him or so I thought. And also because he begged a lot. I realised that it was pointless being with him because before the first breakup, there were several issues we had that seemed to amplify after we got back together, and he was doing shady things.
I felt that he was cheating on me but he denied it which till this day, I’m sure he cheated. Anyway, we broke up the second and last time because he went for his youth service and said he couldn’t handle a LDR [Long Distance Relationship] even though we had agreed prior that he’d serve in my home state. Anyway, good riddance to bad rubbish.
5. Jazz: The second time was worse
So my situationship with my ex was quite fun during the first phase. We were both young and inexperienced (she was my second girlfriend ever). However we broke up after dating for about three years. There was drama and bitterness so we cut off all forms of communication for two years. She then appeared out of nowhere after two years and said she was all changed and different.
My girlfriend wasn't comfortable with that but I thought she was just being territorial. My ex was all over me again and I eventually broke up with my girlfriend and got back with her. Omo! She had actually become more toxic than I remembered, it was like all the bad habits and personality defects had devolved into worse issues. Turns out that dating her was the worst idea ever so we broke it off and I had to crawl back to the other babe. Thankfully she took me back.
And then there’s this guy who said…
I used to fantasise about dating a lady with pink nipples. Well, I ran into luck when my friend introduced me to her friend...we got talking, flirting and realized she was endowed with pink nipples… so we started dating. I really liked her by the way, and we dated for 5 months then we fought and ended things. On my birthday the next year, she reached out to wish me a happy birthday. After that she blatantly told me that she wanted us back because she missed me and the sex was great (I swear we were our own pornstars). We got back together and dated for a few months, I got distracted with some personal stuff and ended it again. She was heartbroken sha but we are still cool till date.