Those who insist on keeping things the way they used to be usually find out, albeit in terrible ways, that that truth no longer exists.
One thing that has characterized relationships in modern times is the shift from prioritizing companionship and love over materialism. After all, in a society overrun with consumerism, finding a partner that helps achieve the constantly evolving tastes in material things satisfies logical reasoning.
The acceptance of this mindset and way of life has led to theories such as ‘love isn't an important factor for the survival of a relationship’ which I find weird and ironic considering the processes and end goals of relationships are acts of love. A large majority accepts this regardless.
Is love important to a relationship’s survival?
The simple answer to this is yes.
A G-wagon, with functioning engine, pumped tires and every other component necessary in a vehicle goes nowhere unless there is petrol in it. With petrol, the G-wagon, even without some necessities and components, can actually move around and fulfill the purpose of its driver.
Same goes for relationships; every factor, both abstract and material that add up to make a successful relationship, is fueled by love for self or for your partner.
Perhaps those who theorize that love isn’t enough, therefore unimportant, in the success of a relationship do so to pull the wool off the eyes of those who harbor the myth of love as a magical elixir capable of singlehandedly producing a successful relationship. Nice motive. Bad execution.
Everyone knows relationships get complicated, life happens and challenges spring up left, right and center. Every one of the factors you can think of that determine a successful relationship, from commitment to forgiveness, become ten times easier when either the love of self or for the partner exists.
Anything worth achieving in life requires going through a stressful and often long process consistently. At the other end is a success story that everyone adores and motivational speakers want to reference to their impressionable followers.
The driving force, however, that keeps a man steadfastly going through a difficult process is the love for the end goal. This very same thing applies to a relationship. When there is emotional investment, it’s easier to wade through the fire for the diamond.
To think love is unimportant or unnecessary in a relationship is to be ignorant of the ability of the human mind to go to lengths to achieve that which its emotionally invested in.
The real challenge here is determining the kind of emotional investment you are getting.
Self -Love or Mutual love?
It is important to note that humanity as a whole is a self-serving specie. Its primary interest is that of self, every other thing comes after.
At the beginning of this article, I highlighted the fact the world has moved towards a materialistic culture that prioritizes material things over abstract values. Combining these two realizations, we are left with a human culture that prioritizes its own material wants over anything else.
Fully understanding this, it makes sense why relationships in modern society are largely about partners who can provide each other’s material wants. The shelf life of a relationship is now dependent on both how consistently partners can satisfy those individual wants and how long before those wants change.
The trick now to figuring out the possible shelf life of your relationship is to figure out if your partner’s self-interest align with yours. When they do, mutual love is established. Unfortunately, when the mutuality is grounded in materialism as opposed to abstract values, the shelf life of such relationships tend to be short.
Love is the very fabric on which every other factor in relationships are built, the problem however is finding out what kind of love is driving your relationship.
Written by Sam Adelowokan.
Sam Adelowokan. Humanist. Big believer in common sense. Arsenal lover.