Your Aunty is not an aunty because they are your parents' sister. They are because they are old enough.
Your aunty is either family, or someone who has been around long enough to be family. Or someone who would say “I’m old enough to be your mother” when you try to dodge her slap. And really, just any much older woman.
So here are all the types of Aunties you’d probably see at your next big family event;
If you need a story to travel round the family fast, just whisper it in her ear. If you need the story to travel faster, tell her not to tell anyone.
What are all these satanic tattoos on your body, have you joined Illuminati? Why do you have piercing everywhere? Have you become a prostitute? Better go and shave your Boko Haram bear bear.
Yep. That’s that aunt you have to keep avoiding.
Nobody knows what she does. You just see her at every event looking like the ultimate baby girl. And she always has money to dash. All the other aunties talk about her behind her back, but does she care? Not much.
This is like the most confusing aunty. She’s supposed to be old. But here she is, banging like a 20-something year old. She leaves your mind confused every time like,
She drinks only fine wine too. Damn.
This one has put herself in competition with the hot aunt. She makes up like this,
And dances like this,
This one needs to chill, real bad.
She wings with the hot. In fact, they always arrive together. When single aunt was tired of her marriage, Hot aunt help her find an escape. Now they are inseparable. All the other aunties openly despise them, but we all know they really want the baby girl lives that they’re living.
So how are your boyfriends? When will you marry?
Aunty shebi you were the one saying we shouldn’t talk to boys that time?
This is the aunty everyone looks up to since your grandparents died. Everyone thinks she's old except her, and constantly having to treat one thing or the other, but she is always, always smiling.