Computer village in Ikeja is the biggest and buzziest hardware market in Nigeria. If you need to find stuff at the best rates, this is where you go.
There’s one thing you must know though, things could go wrong really quickly. And they will.
1. When you tell your guys you intend to spend only 30 minutes in computer village.
You’re just a learner.
2. When they tell you in computer village that UK used phones and second-hand phones are not the same thing.
Epp me understand.
3. Someone taps you carelessly and you’re scared your penis has disappeared.
My life is over.
4. Then you check and it is still there.
Praying black man (Single black male)
Thank you Lord.
5. But the music from your headphones has stopped playing.
Waawu! Wahs going on?
6. And you check whether your battery is dead but your phone has disappeared.
Which kain witchcraft?
7. When two rivals are dragging you to their shops.
Do you want to kill me?
8. Then you go to one shop and they tell you iPhone 6 is 35,000 Naira last price.
This must be a miracle.
9. One senior man tells you to drop something for boys and you know it is really not a request.
Why me Lord? Why?
10. You think you’ve hit the jackpot and you get home to see fufu inside the pack.
I am cursed.
11. So you go back with your squad to wreak havoc.
Somebody’s gotta pay.
12. But the shop you bought it from has disappeared.
Muzz be Harry Potter and the computer village of secrets.
13. You now start asking everybody if they know the person you are describing.
Who send you?
14. Someone even offers to sell another phone to you.
15. You now go back home and tell your mum your story.
Mummy I have no one else.
And next thing you hear is “Oya come and take my Nokia Torch light.”
Aiye le o.