They don't need to contest for 25 million. I mean, it's already chicken change for them.
Contrary to what a few people might think, a lot of Nigerians love Big Brother Naija. For the drama, for the banter, for the sheer love or sometimes hate, for the housemates. And it got us wondering, what group of individuals drive Nigerian followership this much? Politicians.
So we thought up a few politicians and imagined what it'd look like if they, with their personalities and character, made it to the show.
Is there any Nigerian politician more dramatic than Uncle Dino Melaye? Dino Melaye is literally becoming a weekly show at this point, giving us back to back drama, whether he's saying people should patronise "Made in Nigeria" women, or he's fighting over something in the house,
Dino is a qualified candidate. Period.
What do we have here? Someone who can dance at the weekly Big Brother Parties? Check.
Someone who can still do ruthless things in the house just so he can win his game? Check. Ambode it is.
We all know the Big Brother House needs one person who is unnecessarily dramatic, who believes everyone is trying to victimise them. Who believes people might even kill them.
But in actual fact, no one really gives a fuck. Nyesom Wike's the guy for this one.
The house smartass who just seems to know everything and have two heads. And yes, they still manage to have sharp mouth and have drama in them. Best candidate for this one is definitely El-Rufai.
Independent? Won't take nonsense? Who else? Florence Ita-Giwa.
He will go to any lengths to get the attention he wants. The way he wants. When he wants. Give it up for Fayose.
Also likely to win, because life is not just fair sometimes.
I mean, people know he's bright. People know he might hold some promise. But people just don't dig him. I mean, it sucks to be Atiku at this point.
Have you ever thought that perhaps, the most likely, but unhyped woman that might make it to the Presidency in Nigeria might just be Abike Dabiri? What are the odds?
Need I say more? Do we need to call
Miyonse Ben Bruce when it's pretty obvious?
Nigerians like to hear a sufferhead story. It makes success more valid. It satisfies a deep aspiration we all have; the aspiration to blow, and go and give testimony. So, tell them you didn't have shoes were you were a kid, and they'll vote for you in drovveeeees.
Easy, The Godfather.
Who do these political housemates remind you of though? Please share.