"My boyfriend refuses to talk to me; I don't want to lose him"

Dear Bukky,

I’m 24 years old. I don't know what's up with me but maybe I am the source of the problem.

I’m on guy number three. We started dating months ago and all of a sudden he just went silent for a week now.

If I text, he does the same, but he has not initiated a chat for the past week. I asked why and he said he was going through some personal problems.

He does not call either. I don't know what I did wrong and I don't think there is.

This happened with my last two guys and the next thing was 'let's break up, this thing is not working'. Please help, I love this guy._____________________

Hi, reader

I think you cannot force people to love you, neither can you take blame for something you do not even know about.

If your partners are going mute on you without telling you what you did wrong, I think that’s their fault.

One would expect that the ideal thing to do would be to communicate the problem with you and give you the opportunity to rectify your mistake. Without that, there might be nothing you can do.

If indeed you did something wrong or If there’s something about you bothering him, he should speak to you about it and not just ghost on you.

Relationships thrive when partners can talk through difficult times and not just avoid them.

And it could just be that he's indeed going through tough times and does not know how to handle it properly. How about you keep contacting him, keep initiating conversations and ensure that communication does not die till this phase passes over?

Let him know you are there for him if he needs anything, and that he can trust you.

Having said that, I’d advise that you also talk to close friends and ask them to honestly tell you if there are things you might be doing wrong or if there’s any behaviour that could be bothering your boyfriend.

And lastly I suggest that you initiate communication about this thing with him. You need to find a way to make him talk about this. Without that, you’ll just remain in a limbo and that’s not good for you and the relationship._______________

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