Conflicts are confirmed powerful tools that strengthen bonds and solve problems that arise in marriages.
So, where conflicts occur in your marriage and nothing good results from it, perhaps you are doing it wrong.
There is something about these relationship quarrels - you and your partner might be very angry, screaming at each other and all that, but you know that you still love him/her, and regardless of what they did to hurt you, you'd rather fix it than leave them to be with someone else.
So in those moments, here are the things to note so as to actually preserve the chances of reconciliation.
1. Never debate or bring up a potentially volatile discussion at times of intense negative energy and stress. Chances are that you will never reach any sensible agreement, and make it worse.
2. Try to concentrate on the argument being discussed and resist the urge to bring back old issues that have been discussed and dealt with. This is why you are not only meant to forgive, but also forget.
3. This is the person you love, and have sworn to live the rest of your life with. So, as much as possible, try hard to avoid personal insults and character assassinations.
Concentrate on the conflict, not on personalities.
4. Say it as it is. Conflict resolution in marriages [or relationships] is not a scientific exchange of ideas, but an actual attempt to settle issues and move past behavioural inconveniences.
5. Do not be all about yourself. You should be ready to hear and actually understand their own side, too. This should help you understand why they act they act, or why they react to a situation in a certain way.
6. Never put your partner down in public. Confront privately. Always.
7. Always remember that these conflicts are ultimately to better your relationship. So, challenge to heal, not to win.