All you need to become a 'big boy' in Nigeria these days is a whistle-blower starter pack. Don't say we didn't give you the heads-up
Don't even debate this with us, please. This isn't "alternative facts" or anything of the sort.
Just ask the chaps who blew the whistle on former Group Managing Director (GMD) of the NNPC, Andrew Yakubu.
US$9.8M in cash was found hidden in a Kaduna bunker by Yakubu.
Just ask the chaps who blew the whistle that led to the recovery of US$151M and N8B from fictitious bank accounts in recent times.
And ask all the chaps whose whistle blowing activities have led to the recovery of looted funds in millions of dollars all through 2016.
Their reward is here on earth, bruh.
The federal government's whistle-blowing policy is making a few guys out there very, very rich.
In December of 2016, the Federal Ministry of Finance headed by Kemi Adesoun, rolled out the whistle-blower policy.
ALSO READ: EFCC arrests NNPC's ex-GMD
The policy seeks to encourage individuals with some information on where looters are concealing Nigeria's money, to alert the relevant crime fighting authorities and be blessed.
The policy stipulates in part: "In order to encourage Nigerians to key into the whistle-blowers' scheme, if there is a voluntary return of stolen or concealed public funds or assets on account of the information provided, the whistle-blower may be entitled to anywhere between 2.5 percent (minimum) and 5.0 percent (maximum) of the total amount recovered".
This suggests that the individuals who provided the information that led to the recovery of $151M are entitled to some cool $7.5M or thereabout.
The guys who provided the information that led to the recovery of Yakubu's $9.8M in a mud house in rural Kaduna, get to smile to the bank with some $450,000 or so.
For once, Olofofo or amebo (gossip) is lucrative business in Africa's second largest economy.
And in a time of recession, there's certainly no reason why you shouldn't join in on the act.
All you need is a whistle. A darn whistle.
This writer spent all weekend purchasing a variety of whistles of all shapes and colours in markets from Oshodi to Yaba.
There's no point dulling on this one.
Information Minister, Lai Mohammed, has assured everyone that the whistle-blowers will be paid the agreed percentages from recovered loot.
"If there is a voluntary return of stolen or concealed public funds or assets on the account of the information provided, the whistle blower may be entitled to anywhere between 2.5 percent (Minimum) and 5.0% (Maximum) of the total amount recovered,’’ Mohammed said.
The Minister further told The Guardian that whistle-blowers will receive their reward 'codedly'--secretly.
"We cannot disclose to you when, where or how the whistle-blowers will be paid. The moment we do that. we have blown their cover and this will jeopardise the entire programme. So we have to protect their identities", Mohammed said.
But here's the part that warms the heart: "Nobody (whistle-blower) will receive anything below 2.5 percent. There is no question about that", Mohammed re-assured.
Mohammed added that what has been recovered thus far is only but a tip of the iceberg. He has encouraged us--the National Association of Whistle-blowers (NAW), not to relent on our efforts.
Here's the Minister: “The looted funds, which do not include the $9.8M in cash allegedly owned by a former Group Managing Director of the NNPC (which was also a dividend of the whistle-blower policy), were recovered from just three sources through whistle-blowers who gave actionable information to the office of the Minister of Justice and Attorney-General of the Federation.
“The biggest amount of $136,676,600.51 was recovered from an account in a commercial bank, where the money was kept under an apparently fake account name, followed by N7B and $15B from another person and N1B from yet another.
ALSO READ: FG recovers another $151m, N8b looted funds
"When we told Nigerians that there was a primitive and mindless looting of the national treasury under the last administration, some people called us liars.
“Well, the whistle-blower policy is barely two months old and Nigerians have started feeling its impact, seeing how a few people squirreled away public funds.
“It is doubtful if any economy in the world will not feel the impact of such mind-boggling looting of the treasury as was experienced in Nigeria.
"Yet, whatever has been recovered so far, including the $9.8M by the EFCC (Economic and Financial Crimes Commission), is just a tip of the iceberg.”
There you go, folks. You can do no wrong with a whistle right now. There's more money out there to be recovered if we get these whistles blown.
Let's all make some cool cash while we can.
A whistle-blower starter pack is your surest and quickest way to wealth in Nigeria at the moment.