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OJ Simpson may not be paroled because of masturbation

The Juice was caught in the act by a female corrections officer.

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His chances of parole may be in danger, however, because of a habit we all engage in: masturbating.

According to the Daily Mail, Simpson was caught masturbating last month by a female corrections officer making her normal rounds.

While you’d think masturbating would be a commonly accepted practice in prison, it’s actually illega.

Vicereported that the rule exists to “keep inmates and staff safe, since masturbation can be intimidating, offensive, or serve as a precursor to sexual assault or fights.”

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Masturbation is extremely healthy for every man to do on a regular basis. A recent study claimed that men should ejaculate at least 21 times per month to reduce their risk of prostate cancer.

While it’s not the most serious charge, it could factor into the parole board’s decision. He still has a disciplinary hearing for the masturbation charge, which will fall after today’s parole hearing. A source told the Daily Mail this could cause a delay in his parole date or lead to an outright denial.

Prior to this detail, may believed Simpson would be granted parole after serving nine years in prison. Bruce Fromong, one of the victim’s in his case, is even expected to testify on OJ’s behalf. David Roger, a retired district attorney who prosecuted Simpson, also agrees, saying, “The guy did a lot of time on a robbery charge, I expect he’ll probably be paroled.”

We’ll see if an act of self-pleasure just before his hearing impacts the decision today. That’d be one brutal way to face more prison time.

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