Ex-Ministers are cracking jokes in jail

It was from Jude Ndukwe, spokesperson for Femi Fani Kayode - a former Aviation Minister and Communications Chief of the failed Goodluck Jonathan re-election campaign.

Ndukwe has this habit of issuing press statements just when you are about to shut down for the day; and this night was no different.

"It is therefore little wonder that based on the history of his medical condition which the Commission is very much aware of, Chief Femi Fani-Kayode slumped while in detention on Saturday, 22nd of October, 2016”, Ndukwe’s mail read tersely.

His words were literally jumping off the screen.

Fani-Kayode was picked up last week by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) on charges bordering on money laundering and corruption.

It’s the second time he’ll be guest of the anti-graft agency for the same alleged crimes.

Fani-Kayode was saved by quick thinking medics while in custody, Ndukwe added. God bless them.

“But for the quick and professional intervention of the medical team in the EFCC medical facilities, the story could have been different, it could have been fatal,” he said.

Ndukwe added that Fani-Kayode’s health has been made worse by EFCC.

"We made known our fears that Fani-Kayode’s life was in dire danger as long as he remained in EFCC custody or in the custody of any agency of the Federal Government based on discrete information available to us.

“This is apart from the fact that his health has been badly affected since his incarceration for a whopping 67 days based on some questionable ‘detention orders”.

was genuinely worried for Fani-Kayode, so this writer reached for a glass of water and began working the phones.

It wouldn’t be the first time Ndukwe would make this writer gulp water in the dead of the night.

On October 22, 2016, Ndukwe sent another alarming mail to Pulse.

Fani-Kayode was moments away from being killed in EFCC custody, he cried.

His words: "We have also been told that in security circles, that means to have him killed through the use of some poisonous substances that would break his health down irreversibly and eventually kill him even months after he might have been released so that the suspicion would not be at the doorsteps of state agents.

"Words have filtered to us from credible sources within the presidency and the security agencies that the ultimate aim of those who are behind the former minister’s travails is to apply “extreme measures” on him."

On this occasion, this writer dashed for the restroom and let the puke stream out.

This was the Russian KGB, Sergeant Rogers and Hamza Al Mustapha all over again.

But did Fani-Kayode really slump in EFCC custody?

Pulse immediately commenced working the phones.

“The commission will issue a statement soon”,Wilson Uwujaren who is the spokesperson of the EFCC, told Pulse.

That statement has since arrived. Parts of the EFCC’s rebuttal reads thus:

“There is no truth whatsoever in the dubious and attention-seeking alarm that Fani-Kayode slumped and was revived by EFCC medical personnel.

“There was nothing like that as the said Fani-Kayode and Obanikoro sat together and enjoyed their jokes at the first round of checks of inmates in EFCC custody on Monday night,” the spokesperson added.

If EFCC is right, Fani-Kayode and Obanikoro are having a good laugh in jail - something that should warm the spirits at least.

On Monday night, Reuben Abati, another former Jonathan aide, joined them.

Abati is quite the witty, humorous one, so ‘Koro-nation’ and FFK are in good company.

Pulse is expecting another chilling e-mail from Ndukwe tonight, in rebuttal of EFCC’s position.

Trust us, we won’t even mind when it arrives.

And we won’t sleep a wink until it arrives.