Relationship Talk 9 guys share the surprising things they learned about their wives after getting married

I had no idea she'd be that way. When I moved into her place, I threw my stuff in a closet and went with it.

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9 guys share the surprising things they learned about their wives after getting married play

9 guys share the surprising things they learned about their wives after getting married

(Women's Health)
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"She’s messy."

You might assume that before getting engaged or hitched, you'd know enough about your partner that pretty much nothing would surprise you.  

But in most cases, you'd be wrong.

In fact, it's totally normal not to know every freaking detail about your partner before you're married, says Jane Greer, Ph.D., a New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. "When you're still getting to know someone, you want them to see the best of you," Greer says. "You want to maintain the chemistry and attraction."

But after you're married, most people become more open. "Sharing more information makes you even more intimate, and you won't fear judgment or disapproval when revealing these parts of yourself," she adds. And when that happens, your partner could be in for a surprise.

Here are nine guys on things they learned about their spouses after tying the knot:

"She's obsessed with decorating."

"My girlfriend and I lived together before she became my wife. But since I moved into her apartment, we didn't have to buy much together. Right after we got married, we got our very own place for the first time, and she was extremely particular about decor.

I had no idea she'd be that way. When I moved into her place, I threw my stuff in a closet and went with it. It's not like it's a bad thing, but I get yelled at if I move something out of place. It makes no sense to me because I don't care much about décor." —Noah P.

"She wanted to wait before making babies."

"Of course my wife and I talked about kids while we were dating and engaged. It was important for us to know we were on the same page about that, because I'd always wanted kids. What we never really talked about until after tying the knot was the timing of it all.

"I wanted to start making babies immediately, and she wanted to wait a few years. My friends told me I was crazy, but I was ready. Ultimately, we started trying after about two years, and I'm glad we took the time to enjoy one another before starting a family.—David H.

"She's gassy."

"Wish I knew my wife would start really letting loose with her bodily functions. Like, farting freely and going to the bathroom with the door open. She's, uh, pretty gassy. I guess that's what I get for not moving in with her before we got married.—Zack Z.

"Her family doesn't think the same way as me."

"I didn't fully grasp how, well, crazy my wife's family is until after we were married. Even when we were planning the wedding, they weren't that bad. But as I started spending more time around them at holidays, I realized that if I really spoke my mind about some of their beliefs and actions, they would hate me. My wife knows this and shares a lot of the same opinions I do, but I'm happy to not get into it with them. I married her, not her family." —Dylan A.

"She's really strict about money."

"When you're a single guy making a comfortable living, you tend to spend money on things you don't need at all. And there's no one there to call you an idiot. I didn't realize that my wife would really pay attention to my frivolous spending once we joined bank accounts. It didn't occur to me how vigilant she would be about money. But at the end of the day it's a good thing—especially since she's pregnant. I have to be more responsible.—Evan Y.

"She was stressed about getting married, too."

"I was pretty nervous to get married. I didn't know how things were going to change. I love my wife, but I was wondering what would happen if it didn't work out. Turns out, my wife was just as freaked out as me. We didn't know that about each other until after the honeymoon, when we were settling into our lives and talked about it.

We were able to laugh it off, but it would've been nice to know we both felt the same way going into marriage. It would've saved us a lot of anxiety. We promised to talk about our concerns freely now.—Eli E.

"She's messy."

"I knew my wife was kind of messy, but she kept it in check for the year and a half we lived together before getting married. Once the wedding happened, we moved and it was like she flipped a switch. She'll clean up after herself, but I have to nag at her about it. I'm not even much of a clean freak. But, hey, she's awesome. I love her." —Alex H.

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