McShayn's Love Thread Why do nice people suffer in relationships?

Getting dumped for being too nice sounds crazy, but it happens.

  • Published: , Refreshed:
An unhappy couple play

An unhappy couple

(Shutterstock)
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One of the weirdest things I have ever heard came a while back, when I saw tweet about a girlfriend whose birthday wish was to see her boyfriend get angry and beat her up.

I would have disbelieved if I had not seen or heard something similar at previous times.

One would expect that everyone longs for a loving, affectionate, considerate and nice person as partner. Apparently  not.

Inemesit Udodiong touches on the subject on "Love Sex and Everything Else," expressing the view that sometimes, being nice and working towards the perfect image of a partner could count against you in a relationship.

It shouldn’t, but it sometimes does.


And the singular reason why this happens is because their idea of love in relationships obviously differs from yours. Some have warped ideas of what a relationship/marriage should be like.

It is unwise to take breaks from your relationship when things are not going right play Their idea of love in relationships obviously differs from yours and really, a relationship so fundamentally different as this hardly works. (Shutterstock)


That's why you can't afford to get into a relationship with someone who does not share the same values or have the same outlook on life as you.

So you get into a relationship with someone who refuses to respect you enough just because you never raise your voice at them, or they walk all over you and make the most outrageous demands because you genuinely want to make them happy and you are obvious about it.

ALSO READ: First relationships have deeper effects than you know

Because some guys believe in preserving individuality in relationships, they trustfully give their babes free reins to go wherever they like without policing them.

Sneaky woman play Sneaky woman (SayAll)


And then what happens? The babe goes out, cheating on them with a side piece and making them look like a fool.

Here's the problem with this kind of behaviour: it creates a pattern when people go into relationships with intentionally-subdued emotions.

It creates emotional monsters - numb people who are withdrawn and scared to give too much so as not to be taken for granted anymore.


Being repeatedly, endlessly and ceaselessly nice to your partner is the ideal, and no matter what happens, no one should ever be made to feel bad for being a good partner.

If his love language is acts of service play Being repeatedly, endlessly and ceaselessly nice to your partner is the ideal. (Answers Africa)


If you are being nice, or have been nice in a relationship and you have been taken for granted or even dumped for it, rest assured it’s not your fault – the fault rests squarely with the people who fail to realise how good you are.

Seeking to do things that make your partner happy can never be outdated, and anger, temper tantrums, poor communication and ghosting can never be cool, regardless of the increasing number of people who do them in relationships.
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Click here to watch and join Inemesit Udodiong in this interesting conversation.

"Love Sex and Everything Else" is Pulse's Facebook Live session hosted by Inem, which airs every Thursday at 3PM on our Facebook page.

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