How much love is too much love?
But she continued doing it nonetheless, hoping that the pieces of rags would become long enough to escape, like Alice, into a wonderland with Prince Charming before their plan was discovered and torn to shreds by the black, ugly claws of that witch.
Of course, everyone knows how that story ends. If you don’t, just type ‘Rapunzel’ into google after reading this article and you’ll be good.
We just published a story here about Japanese Princess, Mako, the real-life, modern Rapunzel, who is risking it all for love.
As Japanese culture dictates, a princess will lose her place among royalty if she marries a commoner.
Although she is well aware of this, reports say Princess Mako intends to go ahead and seek permission from her grandfather, the emperor of Japan, to be with her lover who she met while in University.
This inevitably leads to the question of how much sacrifice one deserves from a partner, and how much of the same one should be willing to make.
How much of myself am I supposed to invest into a relationship? How much do I give? Not just in monetary value but in more general terms.
How much sacrifice is too much sacrifice? How committed do I have to be? How much discomfort/inconvenience do I have to endure with a partner before giving up on them and moving on?
This won't be a difficult question to answer or a complex issue to address if relationships are not what they have become today.
It is a reality that an insane number of people are entering into relationships with a part of them scared and uncertain; fearful and treading in the relationship as if they're on a mine field.
They really want to trust completely, to love without reservation and commit fully, but they can’t because former experiences and numerous stories of genuine sadness that came on others who loved in that manner have taught them that this might not be the way to go.
Like I wrote in a previous article, “...you are left wondering if [your present relationship] is the real deal…
"You fear that they might be like the previous people you’ve once been with, if they would rip your heart out and remorselessly trample on it as someone had previously done."
So people tread carefully and love partially. They give just enough of themselves - one leg in and the other poised to run like crazy at the tiniest hint of trouble.
They enter with paranoia, cynicism and uncertainty and because they were never dedicated to the relationship/marriage in the first instance, every problem or difficulty encountered in it seems like a verification of the fear they came into the relationship with.
Issues that could be calmly resolved are either discussed from a place of distrust, indifference or way too much aggression.
What everyone needs to know that it does not make sense to go into a relationship, let alone a marriage without the right intentions and mindset.
You need to know what you want and what you are willing to give.
And regardless of what you have seen or heard, your all is what you should be willing to give to your partner. All of you – body, soul and spirit.
Genuine, meaningful relationships are such that you either go hard, or stay home. You’re either in it all the way or not in it at all.
Obviously, being willing to give your all means you look well before leaping. You cannot afford to give 100% to someone who obviously does ot have it in them to give half of that.
I mean, who gives kingly meals to swine?
You know what you are looking for in a partner, and you know what you’d like to give to bring to the table in a relationship.
You know your desires, your goals, your values and the traits that are deal breakers for you.
So ask questions, and make sure a potential partner has these before you commit to anything. As in, anything.
The certainty is not there that anything wil last forever, but at least you can be sure that you held nothing back; before the relationship, and during it.
It'll be their fault, not yours if things go south. You'll be certain that you exercised due diligence. You asked all the possible questions, exercised due diligence and covered all possible bases.
Lessons from failures make us stronger, and better. And of course, there are always second chances to get it right, to hit jackpot.
In reality, some might need to try again a third or fourth time. Maybe even a fifth or more-th!
But whatever your lot, just make your relationships count at all times. You need to love truly, deeply, really.
Every. Single. Time.