Stay Woke What a velcro relationship is & why you don't need it

Learn to be really close to your partner and still afford them breathing space to do their thing.

  • Published:
Why you can't afford to be in velcro relationship play

Why you can't afford to be in velcro relationship

(Pinterest)
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For those that don't know, velcro is a generic name for that common hook-and-loop fasteners which are used in the production of shoes, bags and clothing.

They usually have two surfaces which stick together when pressed against each other and are always enmeshed at all times until some force is applied to put them apart.

And this is what perfectly describes some relationships.

play Velcro. (Pinterest)

The types where partners are always seen together, forever joint at the hip, doing everything together and hardly continuing their individual interests and never pursuing individual goals because they are now ‘a team’ or because  they are now ‘a family’ or that they now ‘belong together’.

Without an iota of doubt, all these terms that point to the merging of two souls in love is not a problem. It’s actually beautiful to see people become one in a way that only love and committed efforts can activate.

However, people sometimes mistake the concept of being one with a partner for a total and absolute yielding of individuality.

He's happily in love and crazy about you. play You can be very very close and not stifle your partner. (Shutterstock)


Being married being in a romantic relationship does not mean you have to get every part of your life and your partner’s blended.

ALSO READ: How to not lose yourself in a relationship

Even the most romantic of relationships and the dreamiest of fairy tale marriages should still allow for space enough for partners to be themselves – to continue doing the things that made them the attractive package they were before they got into a relationship.

Disallowing your partner from doing everything they love doing because you are not interested, or demanding they join you in things they have no interest in, is not good enough.

There’s the place for trying to do stuff together and taking interest in things for your partner’s sake but that’s not obligatory and it’s not something to be enforced as a rule.

Lost and confused. play Compromises are good, but you can't afford to lose yourself and identity because of your relationship. (Cassius)


It still does not take away from the need for partners to always reach compromises and be there for each other.

All in all, trying to be everywhere with your partner, to do everything with them, disallowing them from having time to for activities they love, with people they love… it’s not a good idea.

What you’ll have on your hands is a discontent partner, one stifled and suffocated by your presence. You don’t have to spend every moment together. You don’t have to be that Velcro partner. You don’t need a Velcro relationship.

Learn to be really close with your partner and still afford them breathing space to do their thing, to continue being the person they were before you came into the picture.

That’s one of the truest ways of finding happiness and satisfaction in a relationship.

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