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Meaning of RSVP, Frequently Asked Questions & Wedding Etiquette

Is it absolutely necessary to reply a wedding RSVP or should it be ignored?

A lot of Nigerian wedding guests do not respond to RSVPs, especially because they do not understand the meaning or importance.

The meaning of RSVP in English is simply "Please Respond".

It literally is a French abbreviation for Répondez S'il Vous Plaît or "respond you please".

On a wedding invitation, the meaning of writing RSVP is that the couple is asking you to reply promptly, typically using an enclosed response card.

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Sometimes they'll ask you to respond by telephone or email. You can also reply on your own stationery, which is the most formal and traditional method.

Below are frequently asked questions about RSVPs and how they should be handled:

1. Does RSVP mean you have to respond if you can't attend? RSVP means respond either way. An engaged couple need to know as soon as possible if you can or can't be there. They've probably had to make hard choices about their guest list, and they may be waiting to see how many of their original invitees decline before sending out a few additional invitations.

2. Why you need to RSVP on time: You'll often see, "RSVP By (a certain date)" or, "The favour of a reply is requested by (a certain date)." Your hosts have selected the date that allows them to have enough time to plan and prepare. They need to know in advance how many seats, tables, programs, and favours they'll need. Most importantly, caterers require exact numbers, and charge extra for last minute changes. Ideally, you'll have responded as soon as possible, long before that date.

3. What if you don't know if you can be there? Sometimes the RSVP date comes and you still don't know if you'll be able to be there. You may still be trying to find affordable travel arrangements, a babysitter, or time off from work. When you're in this kind of situation, it may be best to decline. The reason is that if you truly wanted to be there, you would have figured out a way long before the deadline. If they're close friends, you can phone the hosts with profuse apologies, explain the situation, and ask if the reply date has any flexibility. That way they're not forced to track you down, or wonder if you're coming. However, this approach should be used with discretion. If every guest asked for flexibility, the hosts would be completely overwhelmed.

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4. The bottom line: RSVP means please respond, and that's exactly what you should do. Tell them that you've received their invitation, and let them know if you'll be there as soon as possible. Nobody likes to be kept waiting, especially for something as important as their wedding.

Do you think RSVPs are necessary for Nigerian weddings at all?

Please share your opinions with us.

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