When you consistently date people who are no good for you, then the problem is not them, it's you
It's the law of attractions. The allure of something everyone desires, something you know deep in your heart is not yours.
The desire to tame or change a person is just too irresistible for some of us. We love to conquer. This is why we have no interest in people who throw themselves at us. Where's the challenge in that?
We would rather throw ourselves at people who don't give a damn about us. And so the vicious cycle continues and the narrative “all men are scum” is born.
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Toke Makinwa’s exposẻ of her failed marriage and relationship is the perfect example of this.
The signs were legit and clear for all to see including her that Maje was a playboy.
She knew and even acknowledged this before marrying him but married him all the same. Hoping against hope, she would be able to tame this Urhobo demon.
We all know how that turned out.
But rather than garner sympathy, she's been bashed a lot lately for her stupidity. And apart from the regular men beaters on social media, a lot of her critics are women.
Her bleached skin, accent, and controversial nature does not endear her to Nigerians who are conservative by default.
Add to the fact that she's been dishing out relationship advice. The advice she failed to heed herself.
Yet, she's not the only one trapped in relationships like these. The Internet is flush with stories of men and women trapped in abusive relationships.
Some stories are just incredible. You wonder how any sane person would stay in such relationships.
But a lot stay hoping to change the person, some are scared of being alone and others because society dictates so.
Lots of people are involved in bad relationships at one point in their lives. It's how we learn and evolve into who we are now.
But when you consistently date people who are no good for you, then the problem is not them, it's you.
All men are scum when you love to date the scum.
Toke’s story is really no different from countless others out there. She simply had the guts to profit from her heartbreak.