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Relationship Talk "She cheated on me abroad, I want to break our engagement"

We are planning to get married later this year. She confessed to sleeping with four guys in Canada.

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Relationship Talk

(Pulse)
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Good morning,

I really want to ask how to go about a cheating fiancée and I don't seem to know how to let her go.

We started dating in 2011, while she was serving in Lagos, there was this guy in her office who was always on her case and she kept leading him on.

We had a lot of fights about him but she said she knows how to handle him. Many times we also had a lot of fights about her affinity to hanging out with random guys. But I kept telling myself that she was decent… or so I thought.

In 2013, we decided for her to go to Canada since I have better job here than her so I will be able to support her and when she is done with school in Canada I’d join her and we’d start a family there.

She shared it with the guy at the office and he also started his own Canadian migration plan. He went to Canada in September of 2013 while my fiancée went in May 2014.

Coincidentally they were in the same school. A lot of fights went back and forth about random guys, and her unwillingness to engage in video calls with me. She also pulled a lot of weekend disappearing acts.

In the course of her stay in Canada, I found out that she was still seeing that office guy and some other guys out there while I was hustling here to support with her monthly expenses.

But since family has been involved and I felt it was the distance between us that was making it feel like we had issues. While she was still there, one guy even called me seeking my consent to be dating her.

I was furious and as usual she came back begging and pleading and I accepted because I believe that if things get damaged, you fix them, not throw them away.

Now we are planning to get married later this year, and she just confirmed some of my greatest fears in the name of confession and trying to begin on a new slate.

Apparently she has being sleeping with the office guy, she has also been sleeping with the guy that called me from Canada seeking my consent and like 2 other random guys I didn't know.

I know I shouldn't go on with the wedding even though we are at the preparation stage and I have collected the traditional list but I don't know how to just walk away. 

Thanks in anticipation for your help and advice.

_________________

Hi Reader,

If your mind is made up to not continue with the wedding as your mail says, then I feel you have made the biggest decision already.

Deciding to leave someone you have been dedicated to since 2011 is actually a difficult choice to make, and I can only imagine the amount of pain you felt coming to this conclusion.

Having said that, I feel that if walking away is really what you want to do, you should sit her down and explain to her in the same way she told you about the things she did wrong.

Give her reasons why you feel it’ll be better for you to leave instead of stay with her. As regards your families, you both can choose how best to explain things to them.

Do you want to tell them the actual reason why things ended between you both, or will you look for some other thing to tell them in order to save the babe from further embarrassment?

That’s something you can both think about and decide on.

___________________

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