"My girl has an affair with her boss but they're yet to have sex; should I take her back?"

Dear Bukky,

My girlfriend used to tell me about her boss’ interest in her. For about 2 months she would tell me about how persistent he is at trying to get her. She was considering leaving the job at the time but I told her not to because I did not want her to leave without having anything to do.

Somewhere along the line though, she stopped complaining about the disturbance and when I asked her she said all was fine now so I was just happy for her.

About 2 weeks ago, I discovered that they had actually started dating, going out and doing romantic stuff [making out] together.

However, somehow, from what I saw in their chat, they are yet to have sex because she keeps telling him to wait and because she’s feeling really guilty for doing that to me.

Really, I am torn between breaking up or actually just telling her to quit her job and continuing the relationship because apparently, she still loves me enough to not have sex with the guy.

Am I being naïve to take her back, or has she royally fucked up by just making out with him only? I feel she only did that to save her job.

I might be wrong though. Please, what do you think?___________________

Hi reader,

It is straightforward – if it’s true that she actually went on romantic dates with him behind your back and made out with him, SHE HAS CHEATED ON YOU.

That’s the unequivocal truth. There can be no doubting that, although that doesn’t mean you have to break up with her though.

Not all relationships have to break up because a partner cheated. And it looks to me like this particular case is one of special circumstances.

If you are yet to confront your girl and talk about this, please do so. I think it might be time for her to actually quit the job, if she is still willing to.

But that means you should at least be willing to help her with some of her bills till she gets herself another job. I mean, if she is making that sacrifice for your relationship, it’s only fair to do something for her in return.

Also converse with her about the need for more honesty and openness in your relationship.

It is what will prevent things like this in the future.

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