Relationship Talk "My babe now acts cold to me, how do I turn the situation around?"

She no longer comes to my place anymore. I’m confused [because] even when I call her, she sounds dull and tired.

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Relationship Talk

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Dear Bukky,
My name is Chike, [and] for some days now my relationship with my girlfriend has been cold.

She sounds like she's no longer interested but she always say I’m angry with her.

She no longer comes to my place anymore. I’m confused even when I call her she sounds dull and tired.

I really love her and I don't want to lose her. What should I do?
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Hi reader,

Your contact with us is much appreciated.

I feel the best the first/best thing to do is to watch the way you speak or act to her. Whatever is being said to make her feel that you are angry with her needs to be stopped.

You need to always make her feel safe and happy; not scared and worried. That could be why she is acting cold to you.

If, however, you have been gentle, kind and loving to her as your mail suggests, then, this matter seems pretty straight forward.

All you mentioned are the signs you see or notice when someone has lost interest in a relationship.

So you are quite right with that assessment. Your girlfriend seems no longer interested in what you have going.

To get her back as you said, the first step is to understand what made her lose interest.

Without that, you might not know how to handle the situation successfully.

I think you should try to contact her in any manner that will get your message across to her.

These things, as I always say, are easily fixed with communication.

Even if she is unwilling or reluctant to have a honest, open conversation with you about the situation, you need to be a bit persistent, and try all possible means to get her to come clean about what is really happening. [Please do not be violent or abusive, though.]

Has she met someone else, or is she pissed about something you did? There has to be a reason for the lukewarm attitude and until you find out what it is, you probably can’t do much.

If she comes out with what the problem is, then you can apologise if it was something you did wrong, or change something she does not want you doing again, or any other thing that will restore the relationship.

If she does not tell you what’s actually happening though, you might need to move on after a while.

You can’t possibly win all battles. It might hurt, but you will have to accept at some point that the relationship has come to an end.

Let's hope, though, that things won’t degenerate to that level.

I have high hopes for you getting back with your girlfriend.

Go get her!
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