"I feel this girl used me, what can I do as payback?"

Dear Bukky,

I met this girl on Facebook while I was in university through a friend. We became friends and very close but we hadn't seen each other.

After graduating from university, I fixed up my NYSC posting to Port Harcourt just to see her. Unfortunately, she got admission then to Unical.

So I wasn't able to see her much. I got into a relationship during NYSC with a corp member but it didn't last for so long because she cheated on me. So I later thought about her (the lady I met on Facebook) and we got talking again.

She came into Port Harcourt. I told her all I went through. We became close and I asked her out. She told me she was in a relationship that she was enduring.

We were not going to work out at the time, so I had to be patient. When she finally broke up with her boyfriend, I was there to console her. I gave her time to heal... I asked her out again.

She said we should be close friends, I agreed but we started doing things people in a relationship do.

She was the first girl I actually had sex with. But unfortunately, it was a long distance relationship. After my NYSC, I went back to Lagos. She was in Calabar. I had to do some frequent traveling to see her even when I was broke I saved up just to see her.

To cut the long story short. I told her I’d be patient till she became fully ready to date. This happened around 2013/2014. I waited and in 2015 I lost my job.

She suddenly changed towards me and threatened to end what we shared. Right now I feel like I was used and dumped.

Because she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. What should I do?_________________

The choice you need to make is pretty obvious. Get yourself a new job, and move on with your life.

Travails and difficult situations are best at showing who our real friends are. And not just friends, but everyone’s true character.

I feel this case is not so difficult, really. To start with, you both were never in a relationship so getting yourself to move on should not be all that hard.

And again, I’d rather concentrate all my efforts on getting a new and better job instead of worrying about a girl that does not want to be with me.

Besides, if you both enjoyed the sex and other moments you had, I don’t think you should be referring to it as being ‘used and dumped.’

You both had a run, and now it seems to be over.

Just let it go.___________________

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