It doesn't matter how amicable the divorce is probably going to be, having the knowledge that their lives will never be the same after the split should be priority when interacting with them
Opting for a divorce could be one of the hardest things to do and if you have a friend going through that situation, there are some things you shouldn't just do to them which might add to their guilt.
It doesn't matter how amicable the divorce is probably going to be, having the knowledge that their lives will never be the same after the split should be priority when interacting with them.
Compiled by Beliefnet, here are 6 things you should never do to someone going through a divorce.
Do not ask them to share anything more than they are ready to share. No, really it’s none of your business unless they want it to be. Divorce is undignified, painful, and embarrassing at times. It makes one alternate from wanting to share to wanting to self-protect.
Do not judge them, believe me they are already judging themselves harshly enough. Divorce already feels like one is under a microscope. Like the red-headed stepchild showing up to the party.
Do not tease or make fun of their personality traits – even jokingly. This is not a normal time. A typically, self-deprecating person won’t find laughing at themselves funny when it feels like nothing is going right in their life. It is hard to feel proud of one’s life when divorce is causing those they love to suffer. Even the most confident will be hard on themselves during this time.
Do not question what they are sharing with you. Life and relationships are complicated. This is stress. This is loss. Do not make them feel as if they could have done something differently. No one arrives at this decision lightly. Most have labored for years before coming to this crossroad.
Do not make them feel the need to defend themselves. Even the least defensive personality will at their weakest feel like a dog backed into a corner – afraid of what is coming at them. Divorce is not a time when a person has excess strength and any strength they do have is reserved for themselves and their family. Don’t absorb the energy they so desperately need.
Don’t tell them that you miss the ‘old them.’ They miss them too and if they could get themselves back more quickly they would.