ADVERTISEMENT

Stop treating sex as a favour to men

Seeing sex as a gift to men is some messed up way to view the loving, pleasurable act.

Regardless, many women – far too many – still see sex as some form of gift to a man. That’s why it is not uncommon to hear women say after a break up that a guy

This silly belief seems to have stemmed from a sillier reasoning that women are to give sex in return for a guy’s love; which explains why they’d feel used after fulfilling their end of the bargain [give him sex], and he refused to do his part [give love/marriage].

Another supposed reason for this can be traced to how the Nigerian/African society traditionally views sex and its pursuit.

ADVERTISEMENT

It seems acceptable when a guy actively pursues a babe with the intent of having sex with her, but for a woman to do this would be indecorous and ‘demeaning’ of her womanhood.

Society promotes chastity especially for women and though this hasn’t really stopped premarital sex from being rampant, the way women view sex remains pretty much the same.

[No available link text]They see it as something that needs to be asked and begged for, something men need to cajole them and work hard for, before they then reluctantly release it.

This behavior trickles into some relationships and even marriages; where wives treat sex as some form of 'reward' to be given only on demand, and to be withheld whenever they feel like it.

ADVERTISEMENT

But that’s some messed up way to view sex.

First, because women actually enjoy sex than men, as a matter of fact.

Also men tend to do more exertion during sex than women. So if men do almost all the work during sex and women enjoy the act more, how does it make sense for sex to be seen as a gift to men?

Once you decide to have an active sexual life either in a relationship or after marriage, you need to realise that sex is not a tool to fight your partner and that the vagina is not a gift.

Of course men think of sex more and are more vocal and relentless in their pursuit of sexual gratification, it still does not justify thinking that sex is a gift you give.

ADVERTISEMENT

Sex is meant to be consensual and when you agree to have sex with someone, you need to take responsibility for that action.

So quit pretending like you never get horny and that you're only having sex because the guy asked or pushed for it.

Of course, men have been known to say a lot of untrue things in a bid to get women to have sex with them but it does not change the fact – you do not give a guy sex, you only agree to have sex with him.

JOIN OUR PULSE COMMUNITY!

Unblock notifications in browser settings.
ADVERTISEMENT

Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or:

Email: eyewitness@pulse.ng

Recommended articles

10 ways to manage period bloating

10 ways to manage period bloating

Here’s why patients treated by female doctors have a better chance of recovery

Here’s why patients treated by female doctors have a better chance of recovery

7 dangerous herbs you should avoid during pregnancy

7 dangerous herbs you should avoid during pregnancy

What happened to the bodies from the Titanic — the poor still suffered

What happened to the bodies from the Titanic — the poor still suffered

Grant’s Crews Night Out: Where were you last Friday? Peek at what you missed

Grant’s Crews Night Out: Where were you last Friday? Peek at what you missed

Never make promises under these 4 situations

Never make promises under these 4 situations

Why commercial aeroplanes don't have parachutes for passengers

Why commercial aeroplanes don't have parachutes for passengers

7 groups of people not allowed by the gov't to adopt children

7 groups of people not allowed by the gov't to adopt children

Items & services you will pay for twice the normal price during rainy season

Items & services you will pay for twice the normal price during rainy season

Experience Moët Hennessy with some of the best drink Vendors in Nigeria

Experience Moët Hennessy with some of the best drink Vendors in Nigeria

What panic attacks are and how to deal with them

What panic attacks are and how to deal with them

Here are 4 reasons men and women communicate differently — these can cause problems

Here are 4 reasons men and women communicate differently — these can cause problems

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT