7 Things you should know before agreeing to a threesome

The access we have to materials concerning sex and online porn has allowed our imaginations to run wild. Often we are inspired by what we see in porn movies and can't help but wonder what it would be like to try it for ourselves.

Threesomes and orgies are nothing new, granted, however more people are becoming curious about the idea of bringing more than one person into their bed and are not afraid to discuss it openly. This generation being so vocal about their sexual wants and needs has led to a very frank, honest and necessary conversation about sex and sexuality. We are overall better informed and therefore are able to know all the pros and cons before delving into decisions concerning our bodies and what exactly we want to do with them.

When asked what their fantasy was, most men said a threesome with two girls and yes, in theory, it may seem like pure bliss but what is the reality? Threesome may seem like a blissful tangle of arms, legs and other body parts but the reality can be quite different. Before you decide to take the plunge and engage in a ménage á trois make sure you know what you're getting yourself into.

Don't pick a friend

Our first instinct would be to pick somebody we know because we believe we may be more comfortable with them. DON'T DO IT. If you have no had a sexual relationship with this person before, regardless of whether or not they are willing to partake with you, please remember that whether we want to admit it or not, sex changes the dynamics of friendships. Of course, you can choose somebody you know but preferably someone who lives very far from you or you don't see often to avoid any awkward flashbacks.

If you are in a couple, picking a friend is particularly problematic because you may begin to feel insecure about the having the third party around after doing the deed.

Just remember to choose wisely.

Build up the intimacy

Just because there are three people doesn't mean that it has to feel any less intimate, in fact, the more intimate the better. It will put everybody at ease and make for a more smooth and enjoyable experience overall. Focus on foreplay more than you usually would. Touch, tease and kiss each other. Get used to the feel of each other and get a better sense of what each person likes before going in for the kill.

Don't get drunk

It makes sense to want a drink or three to ease the nerves but you will regret it. A sip never hurt anyone but for the most part, you want to be as alert as possible and sober enough to make sensible decisions. Besides, being sloppy is NOT a turn on.

Communication is key

Don't be afraid to communicate about exactly what you want out of the experience. People have threesomes for a variety of reasons and its important to know why each of you are there and exactly what you want. This will ensure that everyone leaves completely satisfied and there are no misunderstandings halfway through.

It's not a competition

It is human nature to want to come out on top but a key point to remember is that a threesome is not a competition, it is a marathon not a sprint. Don't be in such a rush to show off and try to put your partners to shame, it will only ruin the atmosphere. Focus on working together to reach a common goal.

Set boundaries

This is probably one of the most important factors in having a threesomes or any sexual experience. When the adrenaline is running and pheromones are flying all over the place, it's easy to get carried away and you may end up doing something you're not entirely comfortable and may come to regret later on.

Before all the fun begins, make a point of setting clear boundaries so that your partners know exactly what your limits are. The more people involved , the more likely the situation is likely to get out of hand so you all need to know just how far you can push it beforehand.

Don't leave anyone out

You know they say 'two's company and three's a crowd' well you have to make a special effort to make sure that nobody is left on the fringe in a threesome. This is especially important if you are in a couple and have invited someone into your bed. The tendency is to focus our attention on our partner because we are more familiar with them and their body but you will only succeed in making the third party feel uncomfortable and unwanted.

Make a conscious effort to spend equal time on each person and try not to show anyone special attention.