We really wish we never learned what a 'poop knife' is

But like all things in life, some people do it bigger than others, and that's where the poop knife comes in.

What the heck is a poop knife, you ask? Let's back up. On January 9, on reddit's "Confession" forum, a user posted a deeply personal story about a unique family heirloom: the poop knife.

"I was 22 years old when I learned not every family has a poop knife," user LearnedButt posted.

"My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush," LearnedButt wrote. "It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you."

The family's solution? A rusty old knife that hung from a piece of string in the laundry room, equidistant from each of the three bathrooms. When a bowl-stopping turd happened, they'd request the poop knife and use to to break up the turd-berg into manageable pieces before flushing. This, LearnedButt thought, was completely normal—until at 22, they asked a friend to find the poop-knife at a weed dealer's house, leading to shock and hilarity for everyone except for LearnedButt. The whole confession is truly something incredible; you can read it right here.

It turns out, LearnedButt isn't alone.

Another user, Garg_And_Moonslicer, wrote that their family uses a slightly different implement, but the same technique, to break up shit-bergs.

"My family doesn't have a poop knife, but we have a poop ruler that cuts up poop," they wrote. "So you aren't alone."

If you're also a family with a poop knife, we have good news and bad news. The bad news is that your poop knife is weird. And gross. The good news is that your massive dumps may indicate something positive about your diet.

How to Tell If Your Poop is Normal:

We know from what your poop says about you that firm, sizable dumps mean you're getting a diet that's high in fiber. That being said, if it's too firm, you need to drink more water. Gastroenterologist Richard J. Saad, M.D., M.S., an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Michigan, previously told Men's Health that the best shape for turds is a smooth log like a sausage link.

Probiotics can also have a beneficial affect on your poops, and if you're really having trouble getting one out, you should check out these handy home remedies for curing constipation.