Other than them telling you upfront, we've summarised other tips to keep your mind at rest about your sexual prowess.
If you’re one of those kind of people, here are 10 ways to know if your sex life is as healthy as you think or feel, as compiled by Jessica Migala, Prevention.
1. You’re proud of your body
How your body feels goes long way to determine how you as a person se your life. If you feel good about your body then there chance that you’re happy is higher. A study done at the University of Texas studied women between the ages of 18 and 49, and discovered that those who scored highest on the body image scale are the most sexually satisfied. The reason for that could be that women who dwelled more on their body due to the size of their tummy or flabby arms are not satisfied with their sex life. You can introduce exercise into your life to help you gain fitness and lose some of the weight that you’re worried about.
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2. You’re not shy to ask for what you want, and the same goes for your partner.
Sex involves a lot of trial and feedback as it’s going on. “Good sex is all about finding your perfect recipe” says certified sex therapist Aline Zoldbrod, PhD of SexSmart. If your sex life with your partner is open for discussion and you both work on the feedback you’ve given each other. Your sexual life is healthy.
3. Plan it sometimes
I know it feels strange that you should plan sex, but you actually should. Spontaneous and impromptu sex are great but a planned one can be phenomenal as well, because you have the chance to build the tempo up to the day.
“Unless you’re living a life of leisure and your kids are grown and out of the house, I think scheduling sex is a good idea,” Zoldbrod says. Order in a light meal that won’t leave you stuffed or left with a pile of dishes. Then do something to de-stress — like watching a funny TV show or movie together. You’ll find it easier to get in the mood after relaxing, Zoldbrod says.
4. You have stopped counting
It’s not a scores sport, so its advisable to stop counting how many times a week or month. Whether you’re doing it a few times a week or once a month, focusing on a number isn’t a great way to assess your sex life, says Kristin Zeising, PsyD, a certified sex therapist in San Diego.
In a study that was published in the Journal of Economic Behavior & Organisation, researchers randomly assigned couple to double the number of times they have sex. When a comparison between the group that had their normal life was put against the group that were asked to double their times they had sex, they found out that the people who had numbers to it weren’t happier, simply put its bad to count.
5. You’re enjoying it
This is virtually the most important thing about the act. Are you enjoying it? Despite the duration, the place or even the position, did you enjoy the experience is the most important question. “Do you feel closer to your partner afterwards? Are you in a better mood? Those are the questions that really have meaning,” Zoldbrod says.
6. No more pity sex
Pity sex is simply when you accept to have sex with your partner when you don’t want to. It’s the typical taking one for the team scenario. Zoldbrod says mercy sex is acceptable on occasion, but a steady diet of it can tank your libido by training your brain to think of sex as a chore. It’s completely fine to turn down your partner in a nice way if you’re not feeling it, Zoldbrod says. But if you do say no, try to be the one who initiates sex the next time to show your partner you desire him, Zoldbrod says.
7. You know when to turn the heat up
This boils down to the fact that you both understand each other very well. If the sex is good, your partner will know. A 2014 study from the University of Waterloo found that. “Most couples find they get stuck in a certain sexual routine, and they may feel less interested in sex if it feels like they’re in a rut,” says Zeising
8. You’re happy with each other
It sounds quite direct, if you and your partner are happy with each other it means your sex life is pretty much on track. The level of sexual satisfaction is quite high, these factors include how often you have sex, do you even want to have sex with him or her? Relationship satisfaction makes the sex better.
9. You flirt with each other a lot
If you’re in one of those relationship where you send flirty messages and pictures to your partner and the sexual banter is active. There is a chance that your sexual satisfaction is very high. “Sex therapists call this ‘simmering’ — or little things you do to and for each other that keep you physically and romantically bonded,” says Zoldbrod.
10. You’re calm when the sex isn’t as hot as it should be
You won’t always have nerving wrecking sex all the time. “It’s important to have realistic ideas about what a healthy sex life is,” says Zeising. “If you accept there’s no right or wrong way to be sexual, and you and your partner are open with each other about when you’re feeling it and when you aren’t, then you will have a healthy sex life,” she says.