2015 Elections: Beware of Mbe - Uzor Ngoladi

My late maternal grandfather was a prolific storyteller. I can testify to his unusual skill in bringing folktales alive to his grandchildren whenever he came visiting. He displays uncommon expertise in the manner he infused both songs and proverbs to relay his tales which mostly emanated from the animal kingdom or the spirit world.

My young mind always visualized vivid pictures whenever he sat down to recount the rich tradition of folklore that never ended without a moral.

The tortoise also known as 'Mbe' featured prominently in these cherished moments we shared with grandpa. Mbe played the lead roles for all the bad reasons as the folk hero, antagonist, villain, trickster et al.

Grandpa portrayed Mbe's character as a star in the animal kingdom who nonetheless was selfish, unfair and inconsiderate. Most times, his mischievous conduct led other animals to danger and death. We enjoyed the stories but loathed Mbe's deceitful phenomenon.

Grandpa would always admonish us against emulating Mbe's lifestyle while ending every episode of his tales. Mbe was consistent in unleashing hardship and misery on his fellow countrymen. He takes advantage of any goodwill extended to him and returns evil for good.

In one of the 'bestseller' episodes, Mbe's escapade with a group of birds who offered feathers of fellowship and graciously invited him for a feast in the sky made me detest his character the more. These unsuspecting birds had each donated a feather to Mbe to facilitate his flight to the sky for the august feast.

Mbe the manipulator, on receiving the feathers that formed a pair of wings, suggested that each member of the party adopt a new name that he would bear in the sky feast. They all agreed to his idea. Mbe promptly announced that he shall be called 'All of you' as they took off for the shindig. The result was that all the victuals and goodies presented to them by their host went to Mbe whose sobriquet was 'All of you'.

Mbe ate and drank until his shell bloated out uncontrollably while the birds starved and whined in disgust. Mbe ensured that the host mentioned his name - 'All of you' before any dish or drink was served.

The poor birds were shocked at his level of gluttony and selfishness. At the end of the party, the furious birds took back their feathers and left Mbe wingless up in the sky. Mbe could no longer fly. He crashed to Mother Earth with a resounding thud. Yet, he did not learn the lessons of his cracked shell; he continued with his mischief and wickedness in subsequent episodes.

The Mbes are here with us. The cunning Mbe of generational folklore plays on the intelligence of his compatriots in the animal kingdom. There is an Mbe in every Nigerian leader whether elected or appointed at all levels of government. Mbe went to school on scholarship but today he has increased tuition fees to an unjustifiable hike beyond the reach of the middle class.

Mbe's children do not attend public schools which is run by his government. They are either schooling outside the country or in private schools. Mbe sleeps and wakes up with steady electricity while the rest of the masses grope in darkness and queue at gas stations to purchase fuel for their generating sets at exorbitant price.

Mbe has increased the tariff on electricity and deceived us about efficient power supply. We pay more but see less of electricity. Mbe is cruising on a fleet of luxury cars, fueled and maintained by our common wealth, meanwhile the masses are struggling with inefficient transportation system on carnage ridden roads. Whenever Mbe falls ill, he flies out of the country to enjoy state of the art medical facilities provided by compassionate leaders. He abandons the health sector which millions of dollars had been appropriated to reform.

The Mbes are seeking for your votes again in 2015. Mbe will arm commoners with dangerous weapons to rig his election. Mbe is already distributing rice and other edible commodities to cajole us to vote again. He knows how hungry we are.

Are we going to teach him the moral of that timeless folklore by staying away from the polling stations? Can we retrieve the feathers we gave him and clip his wings? Your vote is your feather, you have the right to withhold it until such a time when Mbe is ready to utilize it for common good.

In 2015, discerning Nigerian electorates must shut their ears against every Mbe in power or in the corridors of power and emulate the style of those proverbial birds. Mbe will surely crash from his sky-top if only we can take the wings we made available to him.

Mbe is the heartless good for nothing politician that seeks only his own good and welfare via public office. Mbe would sit in the lap of luxury in an environment enveloped in penury without batting an eyelid. Get rid of Mbe through the empty ballot box or he would continue to make merry at the expense of fellow Nigerians!!!